Thanks to her relationship with boyfriend Justin Gaston, Miley Cyrus isn’t just spending more time than ever with the paparazzi.
She’s totally hanging with God.
“I’ve never been closer to the Lord since I met him,” Miley said during a taping of The Rachael Ray Show that will air tomorrow. “He’s really made me read my Bible. He’s made me actually read the stories in the Bible – not the quick little verses – that not only help me, but show you how to help other people.”
Oh yeah, Miley? Have you come across any passages that relate to pre-marial sex with an older man chosen for you by your pimp-like father?
If not, allow our staff to save you some time…
“Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” – Hebrews 13:4
“To avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband.” – Corinthians 7:2
“But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” – I Corinthians 7:9
“And thou shall take a chill pill when it comes to fame, which can be fleeting and entirely based on the marketing of a certain mouse-themed company; thou should also not make fun of Asian people.” – The Hollywood Gossip, 11:32.