Amy Winehouse's incarcerated husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, is awaiting sentencing on assault and obstruction charges he pleaded guilty to.
But just in case you were worried that he's bored in jail, don't be - he's plotting drug-fueled sex romps with a fellow, female jailbird!
One he's never even met!
Blake has told Melissa Goldstone of his kinky fantasies in a series of astonishing "love" letters from his London jail cell.
He said he had dumped Amy Winehouse after she confessed to sleeping with two men while he has been locked up.
(He wants to stay friends and still bed her upon his release, though.)
The drug addict even claimed Amy had seen some of the filthy sex letters to Melissa Goldstone â€" and hinted she would be game for a threesome!
Amy, who declared her undying love for Blake Fielder-Civil (but not for this poor fan) at her concert Saturday, has not commented on the story.
The graphic sex letters after Melissa Goldstone â€" herself serving a jail term of two-and-a-half years for conspiracy to supply Class A drugs â€" wished Blake Fielder-Civil luck beating heroin in prison, as she supposedly did.
Sleazy Fielder-Civil, 25, developed a pen pal relationship with her, and soon started talking about bondage and violent heroin-fueled orgies.In a dozen XXX-rated letters spanning almost all of his seven months in the chokey, he told Goldstone some of the unnatural sex acts he fancies.
And wants to perform on her, natch.
"I'll bend you all over the place, with my hand 'round your throat," Blake wrote, ever the romantic.
Blake Fielder-Civil also said if Melissa Goldstone ever visited him in jail, he would perform a sex act on her under the table.
Then, for good measure, he said he imagines their first night together as free people â€" romping in a restaurant toilet, of course.
In a note that Goldstone, 24, received last month, he detailed a four-page fantasy so graphic most of it cannot be printed here.
But here are some classy excerpts:
- "I squeeze your throat whilst your s****** me and I ask you if your a dirty b***h ... At most we've got to wait ten weeks for the best snog of our lives!! Miss you Lissy, love and rockets, your Blakey xxx."
- "I've told [Amy Winehouse] all about you and even read a bit of one of your letters. It turns her on and she wants to meet ya. I think she might write to you cuz she asked for your address."
- "I don't want her to know about all the personal things I've written to you about but you can tell her we write dirty, naughty letters if you want."
- "She'll probably want you to write one to her! Not sure how everything's going to work out but I have a few nice ideas!! We'll just see, innit?"
Blake Fielder-Civil is currently in London's Pentonville jail. Melissa first wrote to him in November from Downview Prison in Sutton, Surrey.
To her surprise Fielder-Civil replied â€" on paper headed with his prison number, WA7614 â€" and they became sexy pen pals.
He said he planned to set her up in a house in Kent.
He also said Amy confessed to affairs with both her manager's aide Alex Haines, 22, and American photographer Blake Wood, 21.
He forgave her cheating the first time, Blake Fielder-Civil maintains â€" but "then she goes and does it again. So I've ended it. She never wrote or turned up anyway so it ain't like anything's changed."
He went on as part of his love letter to Melissa: "Me and Amy are always gonna be close but we've decided we're better as friends. The fact is we're in an open relationship (well I didn't know we were til recently!!!) but I don't want that. I just want a loyal sweet, staunch, slutty girlfriend."
He told Melissa to forget her own boyfriend (also a big cheating bastard apparently) and, referring to Amy, said: "When we really needed them they got wrecked and f***** other people. It's their loss innit."
Showing contempt for his wife, he also wrote:
"Everyone blames the drugs for her being a f****** mess (or they blame me), but to be honest I've done rugs all my f****** life and it didn't turn me into a complete **** . . . well a little bit I guess."
In letters written either in Pentonville's C block or segregation unit, he then invited Melissa on a six-month drugs trip to Thailand:
"We can just sun ourselves, I can f*** you all over the country and the gear there is f****** unreal!!! Something to look forward to innit??" He signed off: "love love love and long leather gloves. Your Blakey xxx."