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This week’s probably-made-up Britney Spears gossip story award goes to (drum roll please) … In Touch Weekly! You’ve been dethroned, OK! Magazine!

On the cover of this week’s issue, this fine celebrity news magazine boldly proclaims that a recovering Britney has relapsed, and has been …

  • Ripping her hair out
  • Faking overdoses
  • Talking to herself
  • Obsessed with sex

First of all, Britney Spears boozin’ with papa Jamie Spears and other family members around 24-7 isn’t likely, and the picture below tells us nothing.

Is the photo actually from 2005? Is that just an iced tea? Quite possible!

A celebrity gossip rag’s latest concocted Britney Spears story.

As for the rest of the bullet points, what sex obsession? Who exactly is she getting it from? The only times we’ve heard from Adnan Ghalib in the past month, he’s been hanging with Kathy Griffin or the target of an attempted murder.

The “faked overdose” was probably just Britney Spears tweaking out after seven Starbucks iced lattes in one sitting, while talking to herself and ripping her hair out have to be par for the course at this stage. Girl is bored, y’all!!

Frankly, instead of this crap about Britney Spears falling off the wagon, we would have gone with the Jamie Lynn Spears baby bump / all-terrain vehicle story.

Possible headline: Jamie Lynn Spears, Casey Aldridge Ride ATV, Each Other. That would sell so many more copies. Get with the program, In Touch!