Thanks, as always, to People magazine for assembling these terrific sound bites from the entertaining world of celebrity quotes …
“Do I look like I had 10 cheeseburgers or something?”
– The possibly pregnant, publicity-seeking media whore Ashlee Simpson, in response to Ellen DeGeneres asking if she’s knocked up
“It’s the Easter bunny.”
– Minnie Driver, when asked who her unborn baby’s father is
“This last pregnancy rumor really made me want to go back to the gym. I just didn’t like the picture. I thought, ‘You know what? My stomach is sticking out there! Let me get on the treadmill and do some sit-ups.'”
– Fergie
“I grew up watching Lindsay. It made me want to do what she does.”
– Skank-in-training Ali Lohan
“I’m thrilled to be anywhere with high ratings these days.”
– President Bush, appearing via satellite on Deal or No Deal
“I wore no underwear for you and look where it got me!”
– Kate Beckinsale (not Britney Spears), reneging on her “surprise” for Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson, after he made a crack about her age
“We played laser tag – it was really cool.”
– Paris Hilton, on her “anniversary” with Benji Madden
“I’m content with 90 percent of me. I like my teeth. Sometimes I wonder if my orthodontist realizes how important he was.”
– Carrie Underwood
“That was better than good sex!”
– Dancing with the Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba, congratulating Mario and Karina