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As we reported last week, Radar Magazine has enlisted the great Spencer Pratt for his very own advice column. Here are excerpts from The Hills‘ star’s debut:

YO SPENCER! I just started dating this guy I really like. The other night, we went out and got hammered. I ended up passing out in his bed. When I woke up, I discovered that I had wet the bed. I was so embarrassed that I left while he was still asleep. If I call him, do I have to apologize or can I pretend it never happened? Or do I have to wait for him to call me?

Lost in Thought: Spencer Pratt ponders his place in the world… and The Hills.

Spencer Pratt: Wow! This is a situation you do not want to be in. I personally would never want to be with a girl who gets so wasted that she’s pissing in bed. It’s time to sign up for AA, my dear, because drunks are not sexy. Regardless, if the guy’s really, really, really cool, he might understand. But I wouldn’t count on it. Best bet is to be honest and tell him that was the drunkest you’ve ever been and that it was a huge mistake and it’ll never happen again. And make sure you buy him new sheets.

YO SPENCER! I’ve met my girlfriend’s mother once and she really didn’t like me. We’re going to spend the weekend with her whole family and I need to win her over. What can I do to charm her?

Spencer Pratt: The mother-daughter relationship is the tightest bond in history. You got beef with the mom, you got beef with the daughter. I would definitely say that when I first met Heidi’s mother, she wasn’t sure of me. I wasn’t on my game.

Follow the link to continue reading Spencer’s advice column in Radar Magazine