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In a six-page declaration filed by Lynne Spears in a restraining order against Sam Lutfi, she says she and the singer’s father, Jamie Spears, went to Britney’s  home on January 28 after hearing that Britney “was crying” after a fight with Lutfi.

She called Sam Lutfi “the man who has inserted himself into my daughter’s life,” (no, she doesn’t mean it it that way, guys) as well as her home and finances.

You will not believe some of the $h!t Lynne Spears says about Sam Lutfi – who is now not allowed contact with Britney Spears as per a court order – in her account of that crazy night. We can’t even begin to sum it up.

So here are accusations in Lynne Spears‘ own words:

“Sam told Britney that she was an unfit mother, a piece of trash, a whore. That she cares more about [Adnan Ghalib], her current boyfriend, than she cares about her kids, and that she does not deserve her own kids.”

“Sam told Jackie [a family friend] and me that he grinds up Britney’s pills, which were on the counter and included Risperdon and Seroquel.”

Lynne Spears isn’t exactly buddy-buddy with Britney’s pal Sam Lutfi.

“Sam told us that he puts them in her food and that was the reason she has been quiet for the last three days (Britney, who has insomnia, had been sleeping). He told us that the doctor who is treating her is not trying to get her into a sleep-induced coma so that they could give her drugs to heal her brain.”

“Sam then encouraged us to sit down on a sofa and to do tequila shots. Jackie said we did not want to. Britney seemed to follow our lead.”

“Sam then gets some wine out and said, ‘Let’s all do a toast.’ Britney said that she didn’t want to; she also wanted a pretty glass. Sam found a glass with a stem and poured the wine for Britney when we were not looking. Britney refused to drink her wine and asked to drink mine.”

Britney briefly left the house. “Britney then came back to the house with Adnan, who is a paparazzo. Sam Lutfi then told Jackie and me that we needed to do whatever he tells us. I objected.”

“He then told me, ‘I’m the one who spends 24/7 with your daughter. I sleep in cars outside her house so she can’t leave.’ Sam then said, ‘You people throw everyone under the bus. If you don’t listen to me, I’m going to make your name s–t in the papers.'”

“I looked around the kitchen. I noticed that in the middle of the kitchen table there was a large car battery. At some point during the evening, I learned that the car battery was there so Sam could charge his cell phone. Although Britney has several cell phones, he told us that he had disposed of all the phone chargers and had made the house phones unworkable.”

“Sam told Jackie and me to tell Adnan to leave Britney alone and to get the f—k out of the house. Jackie refused.”

“Sam said to tell Britney that Adnan Ghalib is gay. Sam quietly said something to Adnan, and Adnan left the house. Britney came into the room looking for Adnan. Sam told her that Adnan was in the bathroom. Britney then asked me, ‘Is Adnan gay?” … Britney then became very agitated and could not stop moving. She cleaned her house. She changed her clothes many times. She also changed her three dog’s [sic] clothes many times. Britney spoke to me in a tone and with the level of understanding of a very young girl.”

“Britney then picked up a bottle of pills and read the label and asked us, ‘What does insomnia mean?’ Sam told her the pills help her stay awake.”

Goodness. We’re no doctors or legal experts here, but somehow we think that the restraining order against Sam Lutfi is probably a good thing.