A day after calling out Jessica Simpson for showing up and distracting Tony Romo during the Dallas Cowboys' loss to Philadelphia, star receiver Terrell Owens is now saying he was kidding and didn't mean to cause trouble.
"I tried to get [Tony Romo] to call her so I can explain to her that she doesn't really know me and that I can be funny," Terrell Owens, a.k.a. T.O., told the Dallas Morning News. "Everything I say, the media will take it and run with it. It's not a big deal. I will try to rectify the situation between her and I."
We can only imagine the hilarity that would ensue if said phone conversation were to actually take place. Probably something along the lines of this ...
Terrell Owens: Jessica, it's TO. I want to rectify this situation.
Jessica Simpson: I don't rectify on the first phone call.
TO: What if I hung up and called back?
JS: [pauses] Well, that would make it our third phone call; let's do it.
[TO hangs up and calls again]
TO: So, can we rectify this?
JS: Who is this?
TO: Jessica, it's TO. We just spoke.
JS: A consonant and a vowel on the same line? Now I've heard everything!
TO: The media has taken what I said about you and printed it. I didn't realize they could do that, and I certainly had no idea you could read. So you see the
JS: I don't rectify on the first phone call.
TO: [mutters incoherently and hangs up]
[TO calls back, Crazy Joe Simpson answers this time]
Joe Simpson: Joe Simpson.
TO: Um, this is Terrell Owens. I, uh, I was...
Joe Simpson: Are you threatening one of my employees?
TO: Look man, I-
Joe Simpson: No YOU look, man. I run the show around here, y'understand? I have a lot invested in Jessica, and I sure as hell don't need your-
TO: I'm just trying to rectify...
Joe Simpson: You can rectify my foot up your ass, boy. And quit complainin' you don't get the ball enough. Tony is doin' his best out there. But... out of curiosity, are you single?
TO: Um... I'm often double-covered these days because I'm an exceptional talent. One for the ages, really. But I'm not dating anyone, if that's what you mean. But Tony and Jessica are going out, so...
Joe Simpson: So what?!? She can date you both. Twice the exposure, right? We can make a movie about it. Jessica Simpson Does Dallas Cowboys. I'll produce it.
TO: Isn't that a bit awkward, I mean...
Joe Simpson: And I have another daughter named Ashlee. Can she play running back for you guys?
TO: Julius Jones and Marion Barber do a fine job already. Can you just tell Jessica we're all good? No hard feelings?
Joe Simpson: Know who was hard a lot? That Nick Lachey guy. Because he got to see my hot daughter naked.
Jessica (in the background): Dad! I need help with this bra!
Joe: Coming, dear! [hangs up]
Despite Terrell Owens' best efforts to rectify the situation between Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson... pimp/father Joe Simpson just confused him thoroughly.