Lawyer: You Don't Know What it's Like to Be Britney!

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An irresponsible Britney Spears has not responded to eight of 14 random drug tests (or requests for them), Kevin Federline's attorney said Thursday.

Saying the mother of Sean Preston and Jayden James is living in a "parallel universe," Mark Vincent Kaplan told the court that the singer was reprimanded three times by Commissioner Scott Gordon for failing to be reachable by phone.

"Mr. Federline doesn't want to take these two small children out of their mother's life, but what else are we to do?" Mark Vincent Kaplan said.

Spears' lawyer, Anne Kiley, called the drug testing "unconstitutional" and added that just because the singer fails to undergo testing doesn't mean she's actually using drugs. Kiley noted that Britney Spears has passed multiple tests.

Kiley also noted - to laughter from everyone present - that the judge in the custody case just doesn't understand what it's like to be Britney Spears!

The high-powered attorney told the judge her troubled client has received calls as early as 8:00 a.m. Kiley said pop stars don't get up that early, adding, "You are not a pop star with a number one album, so you don't know!"

The courtroom erupted in laughter.

Nevertheless, the Commissioner ordered both attorneys to reconvene at 10:30 a.m. PST to hammer out a new plan for insane Britney to take tests. Stay tuned.

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Britney Spears Biography

Check Please!
Wow. Britney Spears is ... just.... OMG. Wow. Just wow. With this girl, that's about all we can say at this point. Once the biggest... More »
Kentwood, Louisiana
Full Name
Britney Jean Spears

Britney Spears Quotes

I miss it here so much! I love it so much! It makes me it's kinda like bittersweet coming here because I used to live here for two years. And when I come here, it's like, man, I wish I had my apartment here still.

Britney Spears [on New York City]

MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?

Britney Spears