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Thanks, as always, to People magazine for this great collection of celebrity quotes from the past week.

“Of course, there are things anybody wishes they didn’t have or wishes [there] were more of, but why even bring that up? I think it comes off as bratty.”
Eva Mendes, on being satisfied with her nice naked physique, to Jane

“I am innocent.”
Lindsay Lohan

“Oh Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay! Ohhhhh, Lindsay! And that’s my final word on the subject.”
– Late-night talk-show host Craig Ferguson (who probably didn’t mean that quote in the same way Calum Best once did)

“Don’t put it on YouTube.”
Beyoncé, after slipping onstage during a concert performance. Despite her plea, the accident was posted on the Web site multiple times hours later

“F.A.T. means fabulous and thick, full and tasty, fluffy and tender.”
– Mo’Nique

“I’ve actually gained 10 pounds back, which I think I needed. I kind of looked sick, I got down to 180. Now at 190, my clothes fit again. My underwear was big on me, okay?”
Ian Ziering, on gaining back weight after Dancing with the Stars

“I bring the fear. Does big oil sleep around? Got bad credit? I’ll find the dirt. And I will make big oil regret the day it ever uttered the words ‘price gouging!'”
Ben Affleck, in the environmental video Clean My Ride, Flex My Fuel

“I feel like I’m being punk’d.”
Affleck BFF Matt Damon, spoofing himself in an installment of the same campaign