Sports Gal Recaps The Bachelor, Take Three

It is time, yet again, for T.H. Gossip to break down last night�s gripping episode of The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman on ABC.

Oh, who are we kidding. We're going to do the usual thing and let the Sports Gal do the honors. The wife of ESPN�s beloved Sports Guy (a.k.a. Bill Simmons) does a tremendous job, as we know.

She recapped episode 2 brilliantly last week, and the drama only intensified last night as Andy Baldwin bid farewell to more aspiring trophy wives. Without any further delay, we turn it over to the Sports Gal!

We made history on The Bachelor this week! The show started with a drill sergeant waking up the girls and dragging them out for calisthenics. Bill thought the drill sergeant looked like Dick Bavetta on steroids. I'm not sure who he is, but okay.

I was more shocked that none of the girls was wearing makeup during an HD broadcast. They should've had a follow-up show with the girls watching this show in HD. I guarantee half would cry, two would pass out and the rest would flee to the MAC counter.

But that wasn't the history-making part. Running through a set of tires, Bevin wrenched her ankle and ended up with a displaced fracture plus a rose from a guilty Andy. Here was the history-making part:

The other girls became jealous because Bevin got a rose and 1-on-1 time with Andy Baldwin at the hospital. Now others may start maiming themselves for more time with Andy. We might see Tessa throw herself down a flight of stairs within the next three shows.

Obviously, Andy wasn't too upset because he made his first group date at the mud baths. Not a lot of highlights here except that BBBD ("Big Boobs/Bad Dresser") was in heat and kept rubbing mud on Andy as an excuse to molest him.

She's a tramp. Bill thinks there's an 80 percent chance she has a sex tape floating around out there and claims he has never Googled this to find out for sure. I don't believe him.

Follow this link to continue the Sports Gal's unique, in-depth coverage of The Bachelor ...