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With the 60-day jail sentence handed down to Jason Wahler (which followed his unrelated arrest in conjunction with an underage drinking raid last week), and our love of absurd gambling scenarios, T.H. Gossip can’t help but wonder:

Who will be the next celebrity put behind bars?

Well, since you asked, we’ll break it down as best we can. Below are The Gossip‘s official opening lines for the Jason Wahler Sweepstakes – the winner of which gets no prize, of course, other than bragging rights and a stack of legal bills…

Jason Wahler 2013 photo
(Getty Images for Star Magazine)
  • Lane Garrison (6:5). It’s hard to beat the rap on manslaughter anyway, and he’s not nearly big enough to buy is way out.
  • Bobby Brown (3:2). It’s really more a question of when.
  • Snoop Dogg (2:1). He keeps getting slaps on the wrist (maybe because he’s a narc, hypothesizes Suge Knight), but this Dogg winds up in the slammer a lot.
  • Michael Jackson (5:2). He likes little boys. Never a good sign.
  • Nicole Richie (7:1). She’s got a prior DUI arrest on her record, making her most recent joyride punishable by jail time. Plus, if this girl isn’t made to be a prison gang’s bitch, we’re really not sure who is.
  • Pete Doherty (10:1). We know it’s just drug possession, but at some point, one of these charges is going to stick. Right?
  • Naomi Campbell (15:1). This is one out of control, phone-throwing nutjob, but community service seems more likely.
  • Britney Spears (20:1). Would it really surprise you at this point if she bolted from rehab, stole a car and wrapped it around a phone pole? Didn’t think so.
  • Diddy (25:1). As much as we’d love to see this diva behind bars, telling someone you’ll “smack flames” out of their ass, followed by one cheap shot to the face probably doesn’t warrant jail time.
  • Lindsay Lohan (25:1). You always run the risk of getting into trouble when you ingest copious quantities of alcohol and hard drugs on a nightly basis.
  • Mischa Barton (25:1). She can’t act. And gets into a lot of car accidents.
  • Russell Crowe (50:1). Will his temper get him into trouble?
  • O.J. Simpson (75:1). A bit of a loose cannon, this fellow. Well, hypothetically, at least.
  • David Hans Schmidt (100:1). You’re never that far outside the reach of the law when your job title is “Celebrity Porn Broker.”
  • Tara Conner (125:1). Fortunately for the troubled Miss USA, there are no laws against making out with other party-crazed, hot beauty pageant contestants. Open containers, on the other hand…
  • Brody Jenner (250:1). Only if chicks in jail are hot enough.