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Heather Mills is not a hero.

While the motorcycle accident that took one of her legs over a decade ago was tragic, this isn’t a story of Lance Armstrong battling his way back from cancer to win the Tour de France over and over. That took courage and inhuman persistance.

Mills took a prosthetic limb.

If props must be given for the fact that this woman can compete on Dancing with the Stars, then direct them all to the advancements made in medicine over the years. After all, Heather has also proven she can ski and kick people with the leg. Dancing was a natural progression.

It followed nude photos and gold-digging.

We’re more impressed by the fact that Kristin Cavallari can read than we are by Mills being able to dance the two-step.

Or that the penis of Randy Spelling hasn’t fallen off after having inserted it inside the STD vacuum of Paris Hilton.