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The story floating around the Internet this week might make a person feel bad for Paris Hilton, but that implies two things:

  • You would ever feel bad for that waste Paris Hilton.
  • This is not a complete load of crap.

The horrible heiress claims that because she forgot to pay a $208 fee to a storage facility, the company sold her belongings. Which just happened to include sex tapes, nude pics showing hard core girl on girl action, personal diaries, etc.

Carter Reum, Wife

Now this would be a crazy invasion of privacy, but you can’t really believe Stavros Niarchos‘ girlfriend isn’t 100 percent behind it. Consider the following points:

  1. Multimillionaires with mansions do not need storage facilities.
  2. Even if they did, Paris wouldn’t store her f*%king diary and pictures in it.
  3. Her only claim to fame is being a slut, therefore the release of new sex videos and raunchy, possibly nude pics at this time is a logical progression.

Case closed. This is no different from the original Paris Hilton sex tape, 1 Night in Paris, which she was “not behind” but still made money off of. Skank.

Anyway, here’s a picture of Paris Hilton’s breasts on a boat with Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild. There’s a match made in heaven right there. As for Paris Hilton’s pussy, we haven’t seen that piece – but there’s no doubt it’s in one of the videos “stolen” from her.