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We’ve tried to come up with a few Halloween costume ideas for our loyal fans and readers. We hope the Nicole Richie suggestion was helpful, for example, but you’d have needed to cease eating 18 months ago in order to ensure its most realistic effect.

Now, Bill Simmons (aka The Sports Guy), ESPN’s online columnist, has his own recommendation for Halloween.

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We’ll let him explain the Lindsay Lohan costume in his own words:

Wear a red wig and look completely strung out for about 30 minutes. Then go to the bathroom, fix your makeup, stick a pair of grapefruits in your bra and come back out looking like a million bucks.

Thirty minutes later, go back in the bathroom, mess your makeup up and take the grapefruits out. And just keep rotating the two looks all night and confusing the hell out of every guy there.

Sounds about right to us. Also find the person at the party with the weirdest name and hire your own Rumer Willis for the evening.