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*Laugh* Okay, so CNN reported that Nicole Richie entered a rehab clinic for an ongoing eating disorder, and seeing that she is a malnourished waste, it made perfect sense to our editorial board and we jumped all over the story.

Our bad!

Nicole has issued the following statement on her MySpace page, fervently denying the rumors:

“Contrary to CNN’s false accusations, I did not check myself into an eating disorder rehab. I dont know why or how this rumor started, but i am home, in LA, and very happy. I do not have an eating disorder, and I don’t know how many times I have to say it. I’ve repeated myself so many times, I feel like a broken record. Who ever started this rumor is evil and mean, but its not true. I am happy, and healthy, and living my life.”

Nicole Richie Book Cover

So, you have an eating disorder, then, Nicole? It’s okay. We figured as much. Look, you should really get some help and enter rehab, don’t you think? It’s for your own good! You want Brody Jenner to like you, right?