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What does Paris Hilton‘s bed look like? Only a few thousand men have ever been lucky enough to find out… but any remaining mystery is about to be put to rest. In case you haven’t had the honor (or the lights were off when you were doing her) you can see — and own the thing!

That’s right, it’s being auctioned off, and is currently up for sale online. Opening bid: $1,500. Unfortunately (wait, check that… very fortunately), the singer and party-animal heiress isn’t part of the deal.

Paris’ scuffed up, king-size bed is being hawked, complete with a quite-used and probably very disease-ridden mattress, in an online auction.

Carter Reum, Wife
Photo via Getty Images

That nasty object and dozens of other items from Hilton’s house are up for sale, such as her old pillows, couches, and lamps. Personally, we have no clue why you’d bid on something you’ve already seen — and defaced — from just about every angle. But hey, that’s just us.

The auctioneer, StarStyle.com, assures the Gossip that 10 percent of each sale goes to charity. If only Paris herself were up for sale. Then again, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, no?