Every couple weeks, ESPN online columnist, Bill Simmons, responds to reader emails. As the Hollywood – and not the Sports – Gossip, such back and forths are typically not reported on here.
However, when one exchange involves the future of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, it’s our duty to present it to our fans:
Q: After watching the train wreck of a performance from K-Fed at the Teen Choice Awards, I started to think … is Britney Spears the Mike Tyson of the pop world? Think about it, she got on top of her game at a really young age, blew by the competition and seemed to have peaked at around 21.
Then, she breaks up with Justin Timberlake (which could be Cus D’Amato dying). Then finds K-Fed (who is a mix of Don King, the rape charge, and Buster Douglas all in one). So what’s next for my former dream girl?
Simmons: I just enjoyed that you described K-Fed as “a mix of Don King, the rape charge, and Buster Douglas all in one.” Sums him up perfectly. But in the spirit of your analogy, I think WrestleMania is next for her. It’s the logical next step.
After she pumps out the next kid, K-Fed leaves her for her sister, her next album bombs and she files for bankruptcy for the first time, I could totally see her becoming Triple H’s manager for a few weeks and hitting John Cena over the head with her purse at WrestleMania XXVI. Just feels right.