Snooki & JWoww, a half-hour Jersey Shore spinoff, premiered on MTV last night.
It was ... exactly what you think it was. Snooki and JWoww just livin' life!
Of course, we already knew the main storyline coming in, given that the gals are bona fide celebrity gossip staples at this point - Snook's preggers.
Still, not everything about the show, in which the Shore stars move into a Jersey City, N.J., apartment, was telegraphed. Some of it was even funny.
Let's break it down, THG +/- style!
JWoww, on prepping to put her partying ways behind her and settle down: "I'm 'bout to hit 30 in a coupla years, and that's it." Girl, you're 26. Minus 9.
The scene in which Snooki tells Jenni she's pregnant and engaged was evidently not staged, as JWoww is SURE Nicole is kidding and it's a joke. Plus 50.
"Instead of life throwing me a curveball, it threw me a spermball ... obviously." - Snooki. Clearly written for her by MTV, but still, nice one! Plus 8.
"Jionni proposed and I'm engaged," Nicole Polizzi insists. "I swear!" "No, you're not," Jenni Farley says. "You would've told me!!" She just did! Minus 1.
"Like, who lives in a firehouse?" says Snooki, re: their new digs. Firemen, or reality stars basically. Either way, looks like a pretty cool place, so Plus 5.
JWoww isn't sad about Snooki about being pregnant, just about being late for their apartment hunting and leaving her sitting on a stoop alone. Minus 5.
Plus 20 for the guy ogling the pair out of a car window.