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Kim threw a graduation party on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week, one filled with drunken drama and a burger binge.

The episode started off with a pole dancing class, something no viewer really wants to see. But it did help that Carlton (not Brandi!) showed up wasted on tequila. That raises the entertainment level of any situation.

Carlton also claimed she was a pole dancing virgin, but is anyone else buying it? After the booty shorts she donned and the moves she put on?

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After making like strippers, she and Brandi headed to Kim’s daughter’s shindig, scarcely making it past the front steps before two major distractions stopped them cold:

 
  1. A penis-based text from one of Brandi’s suitors.
  2. Fatburgers from a food truck that was randomly sitting out a party that had food and drink inside.

At the gathering, we must give Kim (an alcoholic) props for keeping things alcohol-free. And then we must give Brandi whatever the opposite of props would be for throwing her burger up in the bathroom. Thanks for making us hear that, Bravo!

Incredibly, it got GROSSER from there, as Kim and Kyle Richards got bikini waxes together.  Only after asking about braiding, which, just… no, ladies. No.

From there, after Kyle complained that she’s afraid the waxing will cause her pain, the woman pulled out a couple of penis-shaped dildos for her to squeeze.

That always helps us relax.

Finally, Joyce complained about being bullied AGAIN, while Kim later attacked Lisa and Ken for not attending her kid’s party and Brandi and Joyce appeared to make up.

Kind of? Sort of? Do you really think it will last? Sit back, watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills online now and sound off on this episode.