The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Drunken Pole Dancing

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Kim threw a graduation party on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week, one filled with drunken drama and a burger binge.

The episode started off with a pole dancing class, something no viewer really wants to see. But it did help that Carlton (not Brandi!) showed up wasted on tequila. That raises the entertainment level of any situation.

Carlton also claimed she was a pole dancing virgin, but is anyone else buying it? After the booty shorts she donned and the moves she put on?

After making like strippers, she and Brandi headed to Kim's daughter's shindig, scarcely making it past the front steps before two major distractions stopped them cold:

  1. A penis-based text from one of Brandi's suitors.
  2. Fatburgers from a food truck that was randomly sitting out a party that had food and drink inside.

At the gathering, we must give Kim (an alcoholic) props for keeping things alcohol-free. And then we must give Brandi whatever the opposite of props would be for throwing her burger up in the bathroom. Thanks for making us hear that, Bravo!

Incredibly, it got GROSSER from there, as Kim and Kyle Richards got bikini waxes together.  Only after asking about braiding, which, just… no, ladies. No.

From there, after Kyle complained that she's afraid the waxing will cause her pain, the woman pulled out a couple of penis-shaped dildos for her to squeeze.

That always helps us relax.

Finally, Joyce complained about being bullied AGAIN, while Kim later attacked Lisa and Ken for not attending her kid's party and Brandi and Joyce appeared to make up.

Kind of? Sort of? Do you really think it will last? Sit back, watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills online now and sound off on this episode.

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WHAT HAPPENED TO CAMILLE? I GUESS SHE REALIZED THE DIRECTION THIS SHOW WAS HEADING AND GOT OUT. I AM GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE I DO NOT CARE IF I SEE IT OR NOT. THESE WOMEN ARE NOT FRIENDS. THE BEST EXAMPLE OF FRIENDS - SEX IN THE CITY.

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Carlton is the ugliest woman in the show is she is super hypocrite; scare of coments of joyce and shes trashy, and she dont like kile because she's ju

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Carlton is not pretty and why she was selected for the show. Lisa is so full of herself, it's sickening. Her mothering of Brandi is so ridiculous. Brandi is just a lost soul. Oh, the wife of the composer, my no one has to thing much of her, she is in love with herself and she needs a facelift immediately. Can't watch the show any longer with these drama queens, but isn't that what is all about? I wonder if they relook at themselves and how they are on the program. No more for me!

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This episode was painfully b-o-r-i-n-g. Yolanda goes slumming it in Brandi's old hood. About 15 people show up for Brandi:s Comic book, I mean Book signing..Yolanda tries to get Guy Granville to forgive his ; skank-whore, dog hating, shyte stirring, lying sack of bs , daughter.
Prom Queen' + guns= Court TV
Carlton auditioning strippers? Ho him..
Did Kim have Kingsley's love child? Wth was that hairy trollish thing that Kim was cuddling?
Kyle reprimanding Lisa for " Mothering" Brandi. Common sense tells us that if you hurt a body part and that body part went 'snap' & has swollen up, going to Emergency might be a goof idea. No, Brandi doesn't want to be Mothered, she says to get shyte faced with Kyle.
Bla Bla Bla Bla..

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Is it not obvious that brandi is a spoiled dirty drunk?

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I think the line that has been crossed over by Brandi, Lisa, Ken and Carlton is crazy! I love how everyone of them wants you to pay attention to them until they say it was a joke! " can't you take a joke?"
I can't even think why Brandi is even on the show at all! I mean we NEVER see any of her life other than when she attends parties to throw in F bombs at the guests!
I really don't think in the end that it is all the fault of these women! I think Bravo started off letting us see a glimpse of what life is like for the rich! Now it is more like the WWF! Every party or occasion turns into brawls and the host embarrassed !!
Funny enough all of that is growing very old! Bravo might think firing Kim would be the solution to their show! Maybe it is time to fire the programmers instead! It is all very old!!

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brandi is suchhhh an annoying trashy tacky bitch!!! she neeeeeds tog get off this show!!! and omgg carelton needssss to leave with her. i dunno whyyy they even chose her to be on the show. and brandi needs to realize that being a bitch and vulgar doesn't make her "real" it makes her an annoying piece of shit that doesn't need to voice her opinion about everyone and every little thing.

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Brandi and carlton are train wrecks. Brandi is a bully and ruins peoples lives. Remember addrianne maloofs heartache when brandi blasted her children on front street. Brandi also lied about kim being on meth. Brandi likes to bully and lie about people for attention!!!!! Now she has a crime partner who loves women. Perfect fit. Eddie please save those children of yours. All she does is drink and party. Sharon

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I think Brandi is so rude and then plays the victim. She is afraid of what the press says to her but she swears and acts like a fool and her kids will be able to c this sooner or later. I don't get what she brings to the show except vulgarity at every turn. I think her and Carlton should run off together, never to return. And Yolanda sauing the sheets weren't ironed-who would u b w/o David Foster?

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@ Oliveopal13

Amen! that is what i say , she is nothing without David.

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Ladybird, by the way I love your name, you might be confused about alcoholism yourself. It has been labeled a disease mostly to get help from insurance companies to cover rehab. It is an addiction for sure, and ruins the lives of those it touches. That said, there is a huge difference between having cancer and alcoholism. Nobody chooses to have cancer; an alcoholic has a choice to drink or not drink. There is nobody holding a gun against an alcoholics head forcing them to drink. Laws in our society back up the idea that drinking is a choice. If it weren't so, by your reasoning Alcoholics should never receive a DUI. Your reasoning says, you can't be held responsible for your behavior because it's a disease like cancer; they can't help it-- it is just the disease causing the behavior of drinking while driving. In fact AA has in their twelve steps, a step that includes taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing for past wrongs (verbal/physical abuse, parental neglect, lying, and yes- not showing up or being there for your friends when they need you.) Sadly it does not seem Kim has faced up to her bad behavior (by insinuating --"how dare Ken bring that up!"

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@ Virginia Fountain

And also my son is a recovered alcoholic and no insurance company paid a dime. But do I think they should, absolutely.And by the way smoking is probably the number one cause of cancer. Do people chose to smoke????????? I have a daughter who has had 2 transplants. Before the transplants we saw hundreds of doctors. The first question out of every doctor was"DO you smoke?" That was a big lesson in knowing what doctors think of smoking. Fortunately she didn't smoke.

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@ Virginia Fountain

According to what is now being discovered it is a disease. It is caused by a chemical in the brain that alcoholics have NO control over.If it were just a choice you could get over it. Recovered alcoholics live with the struggle everyday.No one knows the struggle better than the alcoholic. Yes the 12 steps bring up what their alcoholism has caused . that is part of what helps them to live with the struggle. Many laws have been changed over the years when people were enlightened. We no longer burn witches either!