The Bachelor Recap: Aboard the Crazy Train

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ABC taught us a very valuable lesson on Episode 2 of The Bachelor Season 18.

Or, rather, Victoria taught us the valuable lesson.

Nice and sauced during a group photo shoot for Best Friends Animal Society, the aspiring wife had a few too many and drunkenly said of the show's sizzling star:

"This is how I am sober. If Juan Pablo is mine, I'm going to straddle him everyday. 'Cause life is about straddling. People and things."

Oh, but Victoria's antics didn't end there: she locked herself in a bathroom and demanded to leave the series, forcing Juan Pablo to ask the other women to make sure she made it home safely.

The next day, Victoria admitted she "set off the crazy train" and that she likely drank too much. We say she didn't drink enough! Who knows what else would have gone down?!?

She also said at one point that she gave Juan Pablo "the hymen maneuver." Gosh, Victoria's the best.

Sadly, she didn't even make it to the cocktail party, as Juan Pablo sent her pacing at the conclusion of their visit.

Amy, the reporters, and Chantel, an accountant, were also eliminated.

On the more encouraging front, it's clear Juan Pablo is very interested in Nikki (the nurse). Another frontrunner seems to be Clare, who enjoyed the honor of the season's first one-on-one date AND first kiss.

Andi also played her cards well, expressing awkwardness as getting undressed and prompting Juan Pablo to make her feel better by doing so himself. Nice! Hot! Very hot, in fact!

And, finally, we had Cassandra, who also swapped some spit with The Bachelor… in front of the other women, no less.

What did you think of the second installment? Of Victoria's behavior? Of these smooches? Who would you make the favorites at the moment?

Watch The Bachelor online and sound off now!

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The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]