Arrested Development Quotes: Best of the Best!

by at .  Updated at . Comments

After seven long years, Arrested Development is set to return.

Netflix announced earlier this week that Season 4 will premiere May 26 at 12:01 a.m. The time is significant because all 15 episodes will be available at once!

Arrested Development Cast

Better get your sleep now. Or even better ... relive some of the best Arrested Development quotes from the first three seasons (2003-2006) on Fox below!

If you aren't familiar with the Bluths, go buy Seasons 1-3 now.

Seriously, these Arrested Development quotes are hilarious:

    Tobias: [on painting himself to join the Blue Man Group] I’m afraid I just blue myself!
    Michael: Okay, you know what? Go buy yourself a tape recorder, and just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.

    Michael: Can’t a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange?
    Buster: Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!
    Michael: I’ve opened a door here that I regret.

    Tobias: As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch.
    Michael: Really? When did that start?
    Tobias: Well, I don’t want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn’t help.

    George Michael: And yeah, she was really looking forward to seeing me in my Uncle Sam outfit in the get-out-to-vote assembly tomorrow.
    Maeby: Wasn’t that supposed to be before the election?
    George Michael: Yeah, they had to postpone it when that foreign exchange student parked too close to the gym.

    Buster/Franklin: I don’t want no part of yo’ tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!

    Tobias: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over: an analyst and a therapist, the world’s first “analrapist.”

    Kitty: Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!

    Lucille: Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out?
    G.O.B.: She’s not that Mexican, Mom, she’s my Mexican. And she’s Colombian or something. Anyway, it’s over.

    Lindsay: I care deeply for nature.
    Michael: You’re wearing ostrich-skin boots.
    Lindsay: Well, I don’t care about ostriches.

    Michael: [on Steve Holt] Go talk to him. You're his father.
    G.O.B.: Well, according to him ...
    Michael: And a DNA test.
    G.O.B.: I hear the jury’s still out on science.

    G.O.B., on being a pageant judge: You can’t believe what it does for your sex life.
    Michael: I don’t want to hear it.

    George Sr.: All right, now look, just because a woman gets pregnant doesn’t mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an IUD.

    Maeby: Do you guys know where I can get one of those gold necklaces with a “T” on it?
    Michael: That’s a cross.
    Maeby: Across from where?

    Michael: Mom, after all these years, God’s not going to take a call from you.

    Lucille: I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.

    Michael: Why are you squeezing me with your body?
    Lucille: It’s a hug, Michael. I’m hugging you.

    Tobias: Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time.

    Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
    Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.

    Lucille: What are you doing home?
    Buster: Army had half a day.

    G.O.B., on Lucille getting her driver’s license “renewed”: She didn’t. I dummied her up a new one. Not my best work, though. She wanted to look 48. I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking ‘albino’ in the form.

    Lindsay, on her new outfit: I guess [Mom] wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
    Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you’re lying to me.

    Lucille: I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.

    Lindsay: I hate the Wetlands. They’re stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane, Michael.

    Lindsay: Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free.
    Lucille: Really? Did nothing cancel?

    Lucille: It’s not fair to Buster. He’s a nervous wreck right now. He’s going into the Army, for God’s sake.
    Michael: You volunteered him.
    Lucille: I knew you were going to throw that in my face.

    Buster: Sister’s my new mother, Mother. And is it just me or is she looking hotter, too?

    G.O.B.: Not tricks, Michael, illusions. A trick is something a whore does for money.

    Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.
    Michael: Mom, it’s breakfast.
    Lucille: And a piece of toast.

    Buster: That’s what you do when life hands you a chance to be with someone special. You just grab that brownish area by its points and you don’t let go no matter what your mom says.

    Lucille: Is this why you wanted to fight this thing? So you could run off with this great redwood of a whore?

    Buster: Mom signed me up for the army, just because the fat man dared her to.

    G.O.B.: I’m a failure. I can’t even fake the death of a stripper.

    Lucille: I don’t have the milk of mother’s kindness in me anymore.
    Michael: Yeah. That udder’s been dry for a while though, hasn’t it?

    Mrs. Featherbottom: Ok, who’d like a banger in the mouth? Oh…right, I forgot; here in the states you call it ‘a sausage’ in the mouth.

    G.O.B.: Franklin said some things Whitey wasn’t ready to hear.
    Michael: G.O.B., weren’t you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
    G.O.B.: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn’t ready to hear either.

    Lucille: Stop playing with Mother’s rape horn. Yes, I have a rape horn, Michael, because you took away my mace.
    Buster: Yeah, like anyone would want to “R” her.

    Lucille: What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?”

    Tobias: Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up!

    Ann “Egg” Veal: Teach me the ways of the secular flesh.

    Tobias: I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
    Michael: There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

    Lucille: You’ve got three days.
    G.O.B.: Hey … if I can’t find a horny immigrant by then, I don’t deserve to stay here.

    Michael (to G.O.B.): Get rid of the Seaward.
    Lucille: I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.

Tags:
Avatar

but still Locked Up?

× Close Ad