We were really pumped up to watch this week's Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, if you get what we're talking about. We're talking about Kourt's breast milk.
Sneaking around was the theme last night, from Kim's efforts to gank the fruits of her sis' lactation (don't even ask) to Scott going all covert on us.
Eventually everyone was busted, but hey, that's what happens when
the whole show is scripted you keep secrets! Come along for THG's +/- KKTM recap!
Kim has psoriasis. Boo hoo. Amazingly, she just happened to stumble upon the little known fact that breast milk can help a lot with the skin condition.
Where, oh where, will she attempt to find some?! Minus 40.
Obviously, she enlists BFF Jonathan Cheban on a covert op to steal some rather than just ask, making it even weirder after they obviously got busted.
"My sister is stealing my breast milk? What a weirdo." - Kourt. To say the least. Jonathan and Kim, a.k.a. Bonnie and Clyde, hit a new low here. Minus 30.
Fortunately, Kourt was only creeped out by the creeping aspect, and was prepared to give Kim some straight from the source. What are sisters for? Plus 50.
Kourtney: "My milk is like gold." RATINGS gold! Plus 20.
"I'm not comfortable with it like, fresh out of the boob." - Kim. Sorry, Kim Kardashian baby. Those sweater puppies may belong exclusively to Kanye.
Since Dani's a lesbian, Scott figures it's cool to hang out with Dani. Kourtney is still upset over Scott being away from home, of course, so Minus 10.
Dani dubs Scott's boat the Les'Boat. Plus 30.
Scott dubs himself a workaholic. It's sort of true, the guy puts serious effort into being the biggest fake douche on reality TV. Lord Disick FTW. Plus 30.
Kourt's terrible therapist suggests she write down in a text what she wants to say to Scott but not actually send it. The problem with this contrived nonsense?
Kim accidentally sends all the texts to Scott! IMAGINE THAT! Minus 200.
This sets off another Scott and Kourtney Kardashian argument, but these two actually do work things out when the chips are down, as was the case here. Plus 40.
EPISODE TOTAL: -90! SEASON TOTAL: -162!