This week on Jersey Shore, Paula Pickard may have dodged a bullet.
To find out exactly why, read on for THG's full recap of that Situation!
"I definitely wanna break up with Paula in a smooth and easy way because I'd like to still hit it. 'Listen girl, it's not me. It's you. Can I still hit it?'" - Mike. Minus 180.
The Situation also let us know that he wants a girl like his sister or his mother (his words). Apparently that is not Paula Pickard, hot as she may be. Minus 80.
Mike also has girl problems ... with Snooki. Much as he wants to apologize and get back to normal, she seems interested in nothing of the sort.
Snooki tells Sammi, Ronnie and JWoww that Mike won't be invited to her wedding, and even if he apologizes, she doesn't want him in her life. Burn. Plus 50.
We'd feel bad except it's Mike. How many times did he flat out f--k with Snook for no reason at all, then act like he's beyond reproach? Douche. Minus 30.
Jenni planned a pre-baby shower for her girl Snook. Aww. Plus 30.
Vinny felt a little awkward given the whole Jionni thing. Minus 20.
"Oh, I just wish she was having a girl," says Deena. Cute, but if you've seen any Snooki baby photos, you know Lorenzo's as sweet as can be. Plus 100.
Back to the Mike and Paula mess. Wouldn't you know it, Mike kept blabbing about wanting to dump her and eventually it got back to her. Plus 20.
Imagine if he wore the "Let's Make It Unofficial" shirt Vinny made. Plus 10.
As Pauly D puts it, "This movie just got interesting." Plus 10.
She called and told him she overheard her co-workers mentioning how he wanted to split, and of course he denies it. Wait, Paula has a job? Plus 20.
Then the breakdown. Paula cried. Mike used words like "sweetie" and "babe" trying to make her feel better, but not really meaning them. Minus 40.
Just like that ... boom. It's over. Yet the "breakup" ended with kisses and hugs. What the? Smooth move, Sitch. Don't know how you do it, dog. Plus 30.
"I've never seen people make out when they break up," says Vinny. Mike didn't even need his backup "squad of guido goons" ... good thing. Plus 10.
SIDE NOTE: Props again for the cast's "Restore the Shore" telethon. Nice to see they're not entirely clueless and want to give back to the area. Plus 30.
EPISODE TOTAL: -40! SEASON TOTAL: +225!