This week on Jersey Shore, Deena's parents paid a visit and Mike squirmed in the clutches of increasingly attached girlfriend Paula Pickard. How did that go down?
Read on for THG's full recap!
Deena Cortese did not leave the Jersey Shore house, despite many threats and some dramatic editing to make you second guess her intentions. Phew.
After a visit from her parents, getting scolded about her recent Meatball Day arrest and staying in for the night, she appeared to chill out for once. Plus 10.
"Pace yourself, like a normal person does in Jersey," says Pauly. As if. Minus 5.
Pauly and Vinna bring girls home from Karma. Plus only 5 because that's getting a little tired at this point. Time to grow up and settle down, you guys.
With each other. Come on, you know you want to. Plus 15.
Knock us over with a feather. The Situation was grinding and flirting like a madman at the club, but did NOT take any potential one-night skanks home.
Still, when the ladies of the house tried to explain why his actions weren't cool, he almost dropped the L-bomb when talking about GF Paula Pickard!
Almost. But it's Sitch people. Baby steps. Plus 10.
Sammi attributed Deena's idiocy to only-child syndrome. Would also explain Snooki, but there's more than that, Sam. It's called "Alcohol." Minus 10.
On double date with Deena, Mike is clearly uncomfortable with his girl. Dude actually says he likes it better when Paula just sits there and smiles.
Hard to get more insulting than that, Mike. Minus 45.
The girl wears butt pads unabashedly and has no qualms about anything she says or does. Plus 25, because if that's not Wife-Her-Up material, what is?
Sammi says if she was Paula, she would turn around and hit Mike with her bag. Yup, that's probably kind of totally accurate, based on experience. Plus 10.
Mike tried to live vicariously through Pauly and Vinny at Aztec. Kind of douchey. Fortunately, the old lady getting freaky on the dance floor stole the show. Plus 20.
"It's an adjustment period," the Situation says repeats to himself and others, about being in a relationship. "As a man, I'm trying." SO hard, too. Minus 30.
SIDE NOTE: The cast will host a telethon to "Restore the Shore" this month. They've made appeals online and on TV about Hurricane Sandy's destruction. Plus 30.
EPISODE TOTAL: +35! SEASON TOTAL: +265!