If you thought The Real Housewives of New Jersey yelled during the regular season, you haven't heard anything yet.
"Reunion Part Two" had so much finger pointing, name calling and out and out screaming that I thought I might go deaf. We break it all down in our THG +/- review.
First we'll start with the tirade coming from Rosie. "I will rip her f**king head off" and "I'll f**king kill her" were just some of the things heard being bellowed from back stage. Minus 12. Teresa really brings out the best in people, doesn't she?
Plus 9 to Lauren who finds Rosie and tries to calm her down.
Then Andy tells the ladies he thinks they are just trying to hurt one another. Well, duh! Andy tries to turn things around with a touching video about Rosie coming out of the closet. Plus 5 for the effort but I think hoping for hearts and flowers is a lost cause.
Rosie says she's single but happy and that the only rift between her and her sister was because Kathy didn't like her girlfriend, not because she was gay.
It doesn't take much for the screeching to begin once again and Andy implores the ladies to leave their parents out of it. Kathy takes the high road and apologizes for making a dig about Teresa's mom. Plus 8. Teresa accepts and moves back to her sofa. Of course that means she sitting next to arch enemy Melissa.
Then again Melissa did fondle Teresa's breasts in that RV. Maybe these two are closer than we realize. Minus 9. No such luck. Melissa says that fondling is just what she does. I'll make a note of that in case we ever meet.
Caroline admits she didn't have a good time on the camping trip. Well, there's a revelation.
Teresa says she doesn't see anything wrong with calling another woman the c-word. Really Teresa? Minus 13.
Caroline asks Teresa to come up with one incident of her being a bully. Teresa can't do it. Minus 11. It's not that I don't think Caroline can come off as a bully but as Kathy said to Teresa, "You really don't have anything between your ears." When Teresa's put on the spot, I think her mind goes completely blank.
And that's when the craziness gets going. Teresa says she doesn't believe Melissa can really sing and we are subjected to the video of her kids making fun of their aunt and Teresa and Joe laughing about it. Minus 15.
Melissa sings a few lines. It's shaky but she does have a voice but that's not enough for Teresa. She want a whole song and then continues to mock and mimic her sister in law. Minus 10. It's just really sad to watch.
Andy asks Melissa why she's selling her home and Melissa says they don't want their kids going to school with the Guidice gang. That's how bad things are in this family.
And Teresa takes that as an opportunity to make a dig about the cost of Melissa's house. Minus 8. It's an odd and slightly pathetic thing to say.
Finally the truth comes out. Teresa is pissed because she believes Melissa and Kathy only came on the show to hurt her. Minus 10. What an ego. Perhaps they wanted their 15 minutes of fame too.
Teresa claims if Melissa had been on the show first she would have respected that and never would have joined the cast. Ha! Minus 11. I'm calling bullsh*t on that one. I don't believe it for a minute.
Somehow, by the end of the conversation Teresa is in the middle of the room bowing down to some unseen God and thanking him for taking the crazy people out of her life. Plus 8. I'd thank him too. Teresa has more than enough of her own craziness to deal with.
Oh goodness. Joe Guidice hits the stage. Suddenly Andy's pronouncing their last name in Italian instead of using the English pronunciation. What's up with that?
Joe chugs a can of Red Bull and talks about flicking his boogers at people. Minus 13. We can always count on Guidice for his charm.
Andy replays the infamous phone call where Joe tells someone that his "b*tch wife" is coming and "She's such a c***." That one just never gets old.
Joe claims that he was talking to a male friend but then says, "I shouldn't have said that to HER." Does he mean the person on the phone or Teresa? As for the c-word he claims it isn't in his vocabulary. Minus 10. It obviously is if you were filmed using it.
Does anyone other than Teresa buy this load of bull?
Apparently using that word on TV cost him a lot of money in jewelry to keep Teresa happy. That leads Teresa to brag that she can spend as much of his money as she wants. Minus 9. Maybe that's why they're filing for bankruptcy.
Then the gloves really come off. Andy ask Jacqueline to comment on the Guidice marriage but she holds back…until Teresa starts announcing that Chris has cheated on her. That was one push too far.
If Teresa wants to play that game, Jacqueline will go all in. Plus 20. Jacqueline says Joe and Teresa frequently call one another those names and there's also hitting involved. And that Teresa's told her that Joe's cheated on her multiple times. With his secretary, the babysitter, some woman he had on his desk.
Joe swears he's innocent and Teresa just looks shocked. It's nice to see Jacqueline fighting back for once.
Next week the husbands take the stage. I just mighttake cover now and avoid the rush.
EPISODE TOTAL: -71! SEASON TOTAL: -482!