Jersey Shore Recap: Morgan the Flasher, Paul the Stalker, Roger the Brawler

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The Jersey Shore Season 6 premiere was just an appetizer.

$h!t got a lot more real last night in the season's second episode - also a two-hour event, thank you MTV - in which Snooki moved out of the Shore house.

How did that turn out? And what other stuff went down?

Let's recap Jersey Shore, THG style, and find out!

Jersey Shore Season 6 Cast Picture

Snooki moved into her own "grandma shack" next door. A good compromise, as she was literally like 50 feet away, yet will be in much better health. Plus 20.

No sluts, no smoking and no drinking permitted. Plus 5.

Mike is still serious about sobriety. You go Mike. Plus 20.

He gets a shot in his arse for some reason. Minus 10.

He's still a lazy a$$ at the Shore Store. Minus 10.

MTV continues the Shore Store charade with millionaire celebrities. Minus 10.

Vinny gives Mike a pep talk, in Vinny fashion. Plus 10.

The Sitch wants to take the relationship plunge with Paula, since he cares and respects her, and doesn't want to lose her. This alone for Mike is worth Plus 20.

However, he fears going completely off the market, for FOMO (fear of missing out). Basically he wants his hot, cool girlfriend but to also play the field. Minus 40.

Deena Cortese Cries

Deena and Chris? Actually kinda cute together. Plus 15.

"Romantical" you might even say. Plus 5.

Sam tries to give Deena advice on how to cope with Chris being gone a lot. Ronnie gets pissed about dinner plans or something or other. Minus 15.

Snooki and Jionni go out to dinner and are eating steaks, talking about enlarged areolas and calling each other "Poop." Affectionately of course. Plus 5.

At Captain Hook's for karaoke night, Mike sings Amy Winehouse's "Rehab." Awesome. Plus 10.

The gang is introduced to Morgan, a girl totally DFA (down for anything). There were boobs. There was kooka. There were proud parents at home no doubt. Plus 30.

"She's not that bad, I mean, she's pretty gross, but not that bad." - Vinny. Plus 10.

Roger Mathews was an hour late to his surprise party. Fortunately, a dozen roses to JWoww got him back in the "bone zone." Phew! Plus 15.

Ron decides to ride a mechanical bull. Deena wants to "take the bull by the thingy." Minus 10.

Pauly D meets his boys Ryan Labbe and Big Jerry. Yeahhh buddy. Plus 5.

Mike and Stalker

Mike's Facebook stalker Paul approaches at Bamboo, but Ryan tells him to beat it. Later, Paul confronts Ryan about this and is shoved into a bouncer. Minus 10.

Out of nowhere, an EPIC melee broke out, with Roger going nuts and JWoww tossed to the ground in the scuffle. More details to come next week?

"Probably the biggest fight I've ever seen in Seaside," Sammi says. Plus 10.

EPISODE TOTAL: +85! SEASON TOTAL: #180!

Jersey Shore ...

 

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I’m glad to hear the situation is finally sober, and that he has quit smoking. I am surprised that MTV decided to bring this show back for another season. I have a feeling this will not be the last we see of this cast. My co-workers at DISH can not understand why I would want to watch this show, but I’ve invested five years into this show and need to see it till the end. I set my Hopper to record the rest of the season. I’ve also started watching “The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons,” I’m going to need all of the 2,000 hours of DVR recording space to keep up with these shows.