Jersey Shore Recap: Snooki Flaunts Kooka, Jionni Bails

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Effing Snooki.

Last night was all about the pint-sized princess, but surprisingly, the car crash that ended last week's episode paled in comparison to what followed.

Jionni came to visit, and even if the producers weren't hinting at this all season, it seemed inevitable that her conduct would mortify him. And it did.

Don't ask us how it would come as a surprise to Jionni, given that he's dating SNOOKI FROM JERSEY SHORE. It's the nature of the beast, dude.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Snooki, Kooka

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, Snooki and Deena avoided jail time for the police car mashup and the gang was allowed to stay in Florence. Fist-pump. Plus 3.

Snooki is no longer allowed to drive. Double fist-pump. Plus 4.

JWoww finds out that her boyfriend can't come out to visit. Minus 5, because we like Roger, and we felt bad for Jenni, tears welling on her fake eyelashes.

Snooki decides to use one of the twins to prank Sitch. This is at least the second time the twins have been used as sexual practical joke fodder. Plus 4.

The goal? To bust Mike bringing another girl home. Which happened as predicted ... but somehow only helped him get it in. Call it a Wash all around!

The twins' parents must be so saddened by this. Minus 2.

Jionni is comin' to town, which excites Snooki, who regales us with how bad she wants his guido babies. Via c-section, of course, so as not to "f--k up my vagina." Minus 12 for the visual, and because that thing is already beyond f--ked.

Jionni and Snook

Snooki smushed Jionni. Mike kept looking like - a talking about how - he wanted to smash Jionni's face. With a fist. His jealousy over Snooki returns! Plus 5.

Minus 4 for Mike's sunglasses always resting halfway down his nose.

Snooki getting ready to go out? Some not un-hilarious imagery. Plus 5.

Jionni has overly-bronzed junk, we're told. Minus 5 for that imagery.

We have to say, for a time, Jionni and Snooki were sort of adorable and cute, as much as those two words could possibly be applied to Nicole Polizzi. Plus 6.

But then the booze kicked in and the house music beat started pumping. Just pulsating, echoing through Snooki's half-naked body. We all knew there would be a (PDK) public display of kooka, it was just a matter of when. Minus 15.

Jionni peaced out after this sick display. Hard to blame him. Plus 4. At least Ronnie tried to calm him down. A regular Dr. Phil, this guy. Plus 3.

JWoww Regulates on Snooki

Despite the hurtful things Snooki said, and the fact that they just had a blowout argument, JWoww combed the city to find Jionni. Plus 21, because that's what best friends are for. Jenni's sweetly loyal to her girl, come what may.

She went barefoot, Snook. Barefoot. Best friend ever. Plus 4.

Snooki cried. And cried. And cried. So annoying. Minus 9.

Jionni eventually returned to the house, grabbed his things, told Snooki they were no longer an item and peaced out! Plus 7 for the bold exit, but Minus 9 for the high horse he left on and because we all know they're still together now.

Think Vinny gets it in during this brief breakup? Likely. Plus 3.

After listening to Snooki and Jionni's argument, Sammi apologizes to the house for always fighting with Ronnie in front of them. Long overdue, but Plus 8.

EPISODE TOTAL: +8. SEASON TOTAL: +136.

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Don't knw watsup with u hater's-get a hold of yourselve's-if you're jobless enough to hate on someone-Go FUCK yourselve's-If u don't like snook's,why the hell are you watching the show¶I LUV SNOOKI-P

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i love how all of the people defending this show and the cast can't even spell or use grammar properly.. i think that says enough for this trash and its moronic fanbase. and as for the person saying that class is all about having money, thats a lie. class is about self respect and acting maturely, respectably, and with dignity. not degrading yourself, your family, or your friends. you can have all the money in the world and still be classless, or you can be dirt poor and have mass amounts of class. once again.. ignorance. seems to be a recurring thing within this show and its fanbase. pathetic.

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honestly i love this show Snooki is so cute and i love her to bits and people being so mean should get a life if you don't like what there doing then don't watch

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omg all you whaaccks hating on snookie, get over it you player haters gosh get a life she is just living her life cant say all your lives are perfect huh? snooks is the bomb leave her alone

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Sorry but snookie looks like she stinks and could use a bath and noone wants to see her whats it called? Kooka? With all the people she has been with im willing to guess its already ''F-ed'' up! Ewww.

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leave snookie alone. i love snookie n the jersey shore cast. yea the might od on the drinking but so wat let them do wateva they want. n stp hating on snookie she's awesome. GO SNOOKIE!!!!!!!

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leave snookie alone. i love snookie she may act crazzy but the show is totally worth it. LOV YA SNOOKIE

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Most pointless and dumbest show ever. What's going on with American television? This is the best they can do? Throw in a bunch of crazy over-tanned orange girls and scary abs men together in a house. Watch them fight, screw around, drink and party? You call that television? Cancel the show.

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Snooki should just go straight to porno, where she belongs.

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Seriously, it seems everywhere three Americans are, one MUST be crazy!! Even of it's for the sake of a show, does one have to be such a tramp??

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