Heidi Montag to Headline Strip Club Anniversary Party

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We said from the start it was only a matter of time. Now that time has come.

Heidi Montag, Stripper

Former MTV reality star Heidi Montag has signed a $25,000 deal to appear at the Crazy Horse III strip club in Vegas on October 19, headlining its big anniversary event.

Amazingly, though, even for that price, you cannot see Heidi Montag nude.

Repeat, Montag and her hilariously fake boobs will not be getting naked.

Twenty-five grand for a washed-up reality star half-nude feels like a ripoff.

She was only hired to host the club's 3rd Year Anniversary Party. Weak.

Presumably she'll appear in some skimpy outfit, and that's about it. Yay.

Spencer Pratt will accompany Heidi to the event, according to TMZ.

Fortunately, he won't be getting nude either.

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...and not even nude. Wonder whether there was a line of overexcited guys waiting to get in the club, only to have their bubbles burst.

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Wow, Crazy Horse must be desperate. Heidi's 15 minutes of fame were up years ago...