Kourtney & Kim Take New York Season Finale Rekap: Loser Kim Gives Kris the Boot!!
The moment we've been waiting for finally kame. Sort of.
Kim Kardashian decided to end her marriage to Kris Humphries in last night's season finale of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, a highly anticipated episode even though we're already aware of what happened and this nonsense is all scripted.
That said, we were dying to see it play out on E! But how much of it really did? The answer may surprise you if you missed it. Here's our finale rekap, THG style!
"It's getting to the point where we need to start talking about it," Kris tells Scott Disick, who has somehow become the most sane, normal character on the show. Plus 60.
Kris admits he and Kim "are really weird right now," making us wonder when that was not the case, since they have zero chemistry and nothing in common. Minus 40.
Kris: "We need to get back to what it was." What was it, though? Do tell. Plus 10.
Kim Kardashian: "Sometimes ... I just feel so dead inside because I haven't really been myself here." Oh no, Kim, you're definitely being yourself here. That empty feeling is just your complete lack of personality. Or morals. Minus 90.
"We got lost in the shuffle here," Kris says, admitting he let basketball and training take over, despite the fact that there was no NBA season at the time and he spent most of this KKTNY season standing around doing nothing. Minus 20.
Seriously, the guy does nothing except follow Kim around like a lost puppy and go along with whatever fake storyline is the focal point of that week. They had him pretend to care about whether Jonathan Cheban is gay or not, people. Minus 20.
Kim says they owe it to each other to give their marriage everything they have and make an effort to spend more time together. Actions ... words ... Minus 30.
"I am glad Kim and Kris are going to make an effort to spend time together and make sure what the right decision is," Kourtney says, reading a script. Plus 10.
The couple decide to go work out together, which sounds great, until Kris makes fun of Kim for not showing emotion while working out like a real athlete does, at which point Kim gets defensive and decides to leave. Plus 25.
Kim says she used to find his humor cute, but now is thinking she's the one that has changed. Weeks of marriage really do transform people. Minus 40.
Kim and Kris go on a date and the couple has nothing to talk about. Seriously, what on Earth possessed either of them to get married in the first place?
"Kris wants to move all of his stuff to L.A. There's something I don't feel comfortable with, him moving his stuff to my house." They're married! Minus 2,500.
Man, Snoop Dogg's advice to Kris was on point. Plus 775.
Kourtney tells Kim she's being "a bitch" when she tells Kris not to send his stuff to L.A., and Kim cannot believe Kourtney said that in front of Kris, but Plus 500, because at least someone realized and said how absurd this all is.
Kris and Kourtney gang up on Kim, who is having major anxiety attacks. Wow. Plus 90 because, while sad, that's the first genuine emotion of Kim's life!
Khloe calms her sister down, saying, "I just want you to be happy." Plus 15 for not speaking in her lame ass baby voice for once in her freaking life.
"It happened way too fast," Kim cries. "I didn't know him." True. Plus 120.
Scott: "You do realize you're married, right?" Plus 230.
"He's everything on paper that I want, but my heart isn't connecting," Kim says. So, on paper, she wants a guy who pulls down $8 million a year playing pro sports, is relatively good looking and tall. Great values on paper! Minus 400.
"I feel bad for the guy, I changed his whole life," Kim admits. That she did. He gets booed every time he takes the court now! But, he presumably did get to tap that booty a bunch, plus he will get some money from the wedding, so Plus 150.
Scott says Kim is "a hopeless romantic." LOL. Okay, easy now. Minus 80.
"No matter what happens with Kris and I, we shared something really special. Something only he and I can understand," Kim says. STFU you moron. Minus 1,100.
Kim and Kris finally leave New York and Kim says, "I never want to come back." She just wants to get home and figure out her life. Minus Kris. Ouch.
"I wanted to be married by 30 and everything I envisioned my life to be is not the fairy tale I wanted it to be," Kim laments, like anyone believes a word she says or frankly cares after she's manipulated the public so hard. Minus 450.
BUT, we never see the actual split, because, as Kim says of dumping Kris off camera "There comes a time where you handle your issues privately." Wow. The first and last smart thing she's ever said. Too little too late, but Plus 1,000.
EPISODE TOTAL: -1,900. SEASON TOTAL: -6,155.
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February 1st, 2012 1:40 AM
I'm with Cami on this one. I never cared about the Kim boycott up until last nights season finale. When the show ended I was UTTERLY DISGUSTED! This chick is so full of bullsh*t. She is an witch with a black heart !! She tried to pretend that the marriage brought out the worst in her. I remember in prior episodes of all the other Kardashian shows that she was nasty and self centered. Just a couple of weeks ago she chewed her sister out. All she did this season is showed her true UGLY face behind all that makeup. I too signed the boycott Kim page after this episode. The very next thing she should go shopping for is a SOUL !!
January 31st, 2012 12:05 PM
I thought the weirdest thing, with all that money get waterproof mascara when fake crying!!! I actually got my hubby to watch the last 2 with me (he objected). We had the same thoughts....they were not together 24-7 for 72 days, so spare me how tough things were for you. Kourtney was right when she called Kim a bitch. Almost anyone can make it 72 days. Try 17 years and then you can say how hard it was. We're not "in love" anymore. I was so pissed over a tv show. Ugh. He seemed to really want to try, but would agree awkward.
January 31st, 2012 11:10 AM
How could anyone ever think it's a good idea to get married and then directly go live in a hotel with another couple with a child and a slew of camera men filming every moment of your new beginning. Fake or not...this "marriage" never had a chance. On a side note, Kim needs to grow up and stop thinking only of herself.
January 31st, 2012 6:27 AM
To me i really pity Kim and Kris,first they both were not a match and they didn't deserve each other.Kris is such a rude guy who doesn't love seeing people around while Kim love people.i knew from the very start it was all a drama thank god Kim realised herself faster and had to let it go.Kris need to sit up!
January 31st, 2012 1:36 AM
I was so devoted to the the Kardashians, especially Kim, but after last night, to keep supporting her makes me a complete idiot. No more! I signed www.boycottkim.com
January 30th, 2012 4:16 PM
Kim is so obnoxious & so is her family. I really felt bad for her ex. Kim did not take her vows seriously at ALL! What happened to "for better or for worse" & "to death do us part"?!!? The second things get tough she bails on the poor guy. Kim is a fame & money hungry slampig that needs to get the f**k off my tv ASAP! I would jus stop watching but, its like a trainwreck you jus have to watch! But this season was obnoxious & pathetic & im am proud of myself I only watched the last two episodes. She makes me sick!
January 30th, 2012 1:29 PM
Britney Free you are the only moron here by calling kim the same, cause you re earning money writing about here....ahahhahahaha by the way I'm not the kims fan but the show is definitely interesting, but you are so lame hahahaahhaha
January 30th, 2012 1:03 PM
Kim was not believable in the show at all, all the fake crying. Also when she talks you can see one eye pointed towards the cue card.
She treated the guy terribly, she acted like he was a boyfriend and that relationship didn't work out and she didn't like him anymore, so she got rid of him. She is all about herself as Wendy Williams always says!
January 30th, 2012 12:42 PM
Kim is a fool and Kris was a jerk !!! He threw parties with girls while she was away and went to clubs in other country without her knowing !! I would flip the f#@% out too !! Who could blame her on that one !! Pictures also surfaced on the internet with Kris and some chicks hanging out at her place and they were going through her stuff !!
Kim thought that if Khloe got married soo fast then she would find love fast too (NOT !!)
Kim doesn't think when it comes to love look at her track record very foolish and stupid !!!
Now that this is over Kim really needs to go away ala Paris Hilton !!
So tired of her stupid life !!
January 30th, 2012 11:56 AM
Seriously after watching last nights episode i felt so sorry for kris:-( hr was soooo oblivious through the wholr thing, and just didnt see any of this happening... Maybe he knew somethn was up,but i can bet money divorce didnteven come close to his mind!!!!!!!!!!!! She couldnt even ball up anf talk to him except string him a long makin him look like an idiot on the show!!! And screw her editing... Her and het miney hungry mom producer! So obvious how bad they edited this season show,trying m
To make kris h look bad! Too bad that plan back fired!!! Then they get John Edward ... Lmao! Seriously like he didnt kno the families issues already,coming on acting like he knew know history!! Joke!