The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Malibu Beach Party FAIL!

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In the dangerous lives of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, when you head to a party, you need backup. That said, we break down last night in our +/- recap!

First, back to Pandora's wedding extravaganza. Wedding planner Kevin was slightly less annoying this week but that may be because we saw so little of him.

I will give the man a Plus 10. He puts together one heck of a lovely table, but does he really need a million dollar budget to pull that off? I don't think so.

Pandora and Lisa Vanderpump

From there we head over to Kyle's where she's throwing a party to celebrate both Cinco de Mayo and mother-in-law Estelle's new face. Only in Beverly Hills can the two be combined and no one thinks twice about it. 

Estelle looks good but it's hard to tell how much was done from the before and after pictures since the before has no makeup at all and the after was taken in full hair and makeup. Minus 8 because I would have enjoyed seeing a more accurate comparison.

Everyone's talking about Brandi's upcoming party but the porn star tutorial is out and a belly dancing lesson is in. Apparently Lisa hasn't gotten the memo.

She tells Ken she's not going because she doesn't need a lesson on giving BJ's. Ken asks her to come home and prove it. Lisa's response: "It's not your birthday, is it?" Plus 10 because somehow it's even funnier with the British accents.

The Malibu party gets started, the wine starts to flow and before you know it Kyle is doing splits in front of the crowd. What's up with that? Didn't she do that at Pandora's engagement party? Minus 5 as her exhibitionist streak is getting old.
Brandi Glanville Nipples

Speaking of exhibitionists, Brandi's wearing a clingy white cotton dress with a thong and no bra. Honestly, if anyone can pull it off it's Brandi but Kyle's incessant comments about her nipples were getting a little creepy. Minus 8. If Kyle were a guy I'd be telling her to look up.

So Taylor brings Kyle along as backup because she feels so uncomfortable being around Camille since the tea party blowout. Perhaps she should have chosen a better wingman. 

When Taylor becomes overwhelmed and steps outside to get some, air does Kyle go to check on her ... no. Instead she calls attention to Taylor's absence and sticks her tongue out at her through the window. Minus 7. She was probably just trying to lighten Taylor's mood but instead it was the beginning of the end.

Who is the crazy red headed friend of Camille's? I know she's just trying to stick up for her friend but she's a bit of a nut. At some point you need to back off and shut up and Camille should have told her to do just that. For someone who claims to hate the drama, Camille certainly has very dramatic friends.

Instead the ladies swarmed an already fragile Taylor. Minus 10 to the entire crew. Everyone screaming and talking at once only made a bad situation worse. When Taylor finally snaps ... well it's not pretty.

Taylor Unglued

It seems that Taylor is terrified about what will happen when Russell finally hears Camille's comments. Instead of her focus being on ditching her allegedly abusive spouse she seems sidetracked on blaming Camille for her issues. It's simply scary.

Then Brandi goes and kicks Taylor out. Minus 15. That's just rude.

She could have at least separated the ladies and let them calm down, and I'm sure one or both of them would have left of their own accord.

So despite the gorgeous ocean views and the wonderful food, Brandi's party is a complete disaster. She cries that she only wants to fit in. Well, considering how well everyone else's parties turn out you may just be one of the crowd, but if she were smarter she'd run in the opposite direction.

EPISODE TOTAL: -33! SEASON TOTAL: -322!

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Taylor is a liar. LIAR.

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Leave Taylor alone for crying out loud. I can't believe how all the ladies were crowded around Taylor telling HER to shut up. The only one that needs to shut it is Camilles friend whatever her name is. Ladies- YOU ARE IN THE WRONG. Taylor was confiding in Camille and she broke her confidence. CAMILLE IS WRONG. Camille wanted to expose Taylor on TV for whatever reason. This was something she should have spoke to Taylor about PRIVATELY.

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Dana spare us the $ on your lollipop holder.. does she know how we are grimicing at home? We don't even know you but we don't like you already.

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I think what December has written speaks volumes. Yet, I too wonder if Taylor is really the abused or was it the other way around? She is so hostile and aggressive. Who speaks "Outside Now" in such a manner? She just seems like she's the aggressor and I am not sure if it's because she's abused at home and takes a strong stance socially when she can or if it's because she truly did suffer abuse by her late husband. Such odd comments, "It's NOT fair!" Actually, what does that mean? She was hysterical, out of control and I do think Brandi did the right thing by asking her to leave. Who wants to be around that and how much longer will Bravo allow the unfolding of Taylor to be a public affair? I just pray she doesn't return next year. It's made viewing both uncomfortable and odd. There are a lot of things written about her history of lying, cheating.... It just doesn't benefit her or her daughter to remain on this program. Just my thoughts.

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KYLE IS SO OVER,BETTER HANG ON TO THAT HUNK SHE HAS.CAUSE UP CLOSE PHOTOS ARE bad,FROM HER HANDS,HAIR MAKEUP AND HER IDEA OF BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS!THERE ARE OTHER WOMEN THERE WHO COUNT,HMMMMHHHMMLETS SEE... CAMILLE ADRIEANNA,AND lISA,ONLY ONES WITH CLASS OH AND cANNIE,GET RID OF YOUR FREE LOADER dd HELLOOOO SHE IS THERE FOR THE HANDOUT YOU HAVE EXTENDED TO HER AND HER FAMILY....YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND BUT ENOUGH PLEASE! SHE WENT OVERBOARD THIS TIME SHOWING HER A$$...PEACE OUT GALS

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This show is getting so old. The only reason I have been watching thus far is in hopes of catching Taylor taken away to a padded cell or washing up on shore like the sucker fish she is. Kyle is just mean and nasty. It's not a flattering image to project, especially when you are getting older by the minute. I think Camille, Adrienne and Lisa are classy and so above the other two nut jobs. I also didn't see anything wrong or rude about Brandi asking Taylor to leave. I would ask someone to leave if they went apes**t like Taylor did. She is inexusable. It's a wonder she has any friends left. And her kid looks like she's from another planet.

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Taylor is a total creep. The way that she and Bravo were the #1 factor definitely caused Russells death. She's as fake as her fake lips, and did more abuse to her husband than anything she alleges he did to her. I never saw her "terrified" of her husband. She was bored of him and he didn't come through with the money she expected him to bring in. She's such a hypocrite, poser and liar it's becoming unwatchable. I like Camille. She is having a really bad time but doesn't burden everyone with it. She's authentic, I watch the show to root for her. Kyle is a spiteful child and ugly old wannabe at the same time. I think her husband fantasizes about other women but he's a mamas boy and so won't act on it. He wants security at any price.

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Kyle is insecure and continues to enable that revoltingly large mouthed nutcase Taylor to carry on playing the victim. Taylor makes a scene where ever she goes. Kyle is also a prude that needs to loosen up. She also needs to stop mothering nut cases and give them what they really need - a good kick up the backside! For a bunch of women who are supposed to be friends I have never seen so much backstabbing and mindless criticism. Taylor needs to change therapists because the one she has does not seem to be helping at all. Poor Brandi just is not so bright. Nearly all of them need to look in the mirror. Do they not notice they are all morphing into each other - weird pumped up faces that look ridiculous!

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taylor is an idiot, and kyle is the sneaky biatch thats causing the commotion

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Taylor is a mess before this happened now she is talking about how she was abused for sooo long I think she could handle herself before too she plays the a poor abused housewife , she had a big enough mouth last night against Camielle's friend LOL !! Camielle's friend is a little kooky too , she kept getting under Taylor's skin , and Brandi is a two face throwing Taylor out I thought they were friends , Brandi has bad karma around her everytime she is involved with something the shit hits the fan !! Pandora needs a upper lip transplant before that horrible pink wedding of hers it is going to look like a circus ... Kyle is just being a show off at every party she doesnt care what people think she does what she wants , she has a good family and she is just trying to make light of the situation like the party , she was backing Taylor up when Camille's buddy was jumping on her I would not consider Brandi a friend , she is one beer short of a six pack and her partys sux !!

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