The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: Your Tweeting Heart

I hate to sound like Kelly, but Simon is so weird. He's always creeped me out and this installment of The Real Housewives of New York City was no exception. So let's recap everyone's quirks in our patented +/- review, shall we?

Cindy throws a party to launch her new wax and body bejeweling kits. Everyone gets into the act, but PLUS 10 for Brad going all out with a bejeweled tramp stamp. No, we haven't gotten to the weird part yet.

That takes place when Simon finds Jill. First, he sits down so close he's practically feeling her up. MINUS 5 for already making me uncomfortable. Then he starts the conversation by saying, "You and Alex have burned."

Excuse me? As Jill is just as confused as the rest of us, he explains that he's referring to Jill and Alex sharing the fire pit. Finally, he goes into his request for lunch because "we need to talk."

PLUS 5 to Kelly for calling it. Simon is such a girl. What guy comes up to a woman and says we need to have lunch to talk?!? When Jill turns his invitation down, he cryptically tells her to "watch out." For what exactly? He doesn't say. This guy is just strange. 

The fun part comes when everyone gets into the mix because none of these people can ever mind their own business. Luann tells Jill not to give Simon the time of day. After her blow up with Alex over lunch, this shouldn't be a surprise.

Kelly then hunts down Alex to have their own lunch to discuss the matter. MINUS 7 for not being able to leave it alone and for making so little sense during the conversation.

Lunches are tough on this show. I don't know how anyone can eat with all of that tension. This meal is almost as bad as last week's between Alex and Luann. I think Alex needs to lighten up on the eyeliner. MINUS 8 because she's reminding me of Skeletor.

The rumor is that Simon is cyber-bullying Jill and perhaps the other Housewives. Watch out for those mean Tweets, ladies.

I'm not always a huge fan of Mario's, but I have to throw him a PLUS 3 for calling out Simon on the strange outfit. It's "another muumuu or whatever the hell he's wearing." I think it was leather, too.

OK, enough about Simon. Our other Housewives had issues as well. Luann painted at Jill's. Really, she painted in high end boots and lace hosiery.  Still, I'm actually impressed. Luann picked up a paint brush. PLUS 3.

Even stranger, Sonja has a Blackberry in her toilet and doesn't know it.  PLUS 5 for the plumber making her dig it out.  At least he didn't charge her.

Cindy's daughter is so darn cute but MINUS 3 for not having any idea how to handle your own child. She literally calls in reinforcements to get through a meal.

Ramona earns a PLUS 10 for throwing a lovely party for her and her friend. Sonja really did tear up and the slides were a sweet moment and a nice insight into their relationship. Is Ramona growing up? She handled that conflict with Jill like a calm, rational adult.  Another PLUS 10.  Go Ramona.

Hang on for next week when Luann shoots a music video.  No, I'm not kidding.

EPISODE TOTAL: +23! SEASON TOTAL: 40!