You're clearly trying, Michaele Salahi, but you have a long way to go until you've earned the title of of Reality TV's Biggest Villain.
Barring a full personality makeover, this honor will belong to Danielle Staub for the foreseeable future. She's helping to cement it by throwing herself a belated 48th birthday party - at a strip club!
Just days after telling all Real Housewives to "be humble" and to "teach your children that hard work is definitely something that becomes lucrative," Staub will make herself the center of attention at Scores, a gentleman's establishment in New York City...
... and we're all invited!
According to the invite, attendees will be treated to a live performance of the single "Real Close" and, we can only imagine, a pole dance by Danielle herself. After all, she certainly has the experience: