Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami: Douche-pocalypse Now

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“Thank God I jerk off left-handed or I’d have no social life this week.” - Scott Disick

To say Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy is a loser would be an understatement, but it appears our fair heroine finally wised up to this truth last night.

Read on to see what the poor THG intern stuck watching his antics on reality TV thought of last night's installment on Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami:

Finally, it was the episode we’ve all been waiting for. The “Douche-pocalyse” (thank you How I Met Your Mother). Scott Disick done lost his marbles, ya’ll.

Okay so Kourtney wises up and realizes Scott’s back to his old tricks and drinking and partying too much. She and Kim chat about this while on their friend Loren’s yacht, which is gorgeous by the way. When they return home, they notice their apartment smells like weed and Kourtney confronts Scott.

Kourt, Scott and Mason: One sweet, happy family.

In his effed up state, he grabs Kourtney tightly by the wrist (none of this is filmed) and she slaps him across the face. She then runs out, grabs Kim and Mason and they head back to Loren’s for safety. Meanwhile, Scott is left to his own devices with only the producers and cameramen to supervise.

He punches the mirror, injuring his hand and is taken to the hospital

This is the realest I’ve seen this show get. 

There’s no way that was made up. Everyone knows Scott is crazy, but you can tell just by the filming that this wasn’t fake. The cameramen had to call the producers to decide how to deal with Scott. Kourtney and Kim were visibly scared, and it was altogether a very messed up situation. This is just so sad for Mason.

The next day, Scott apologizes profusely and ends up getting surgery on his hand. Kourtney decides that although she wants to be there for his surgery, she needs to do what’s best for her and Mason.

Scott Disick: The monster, devilish boyfriend from hell.

On the random flip side of this episode, Kim Kardashian is still upset about her breakup with Reggie. She brings it up out of nowhere and it’s not even well transitioned by the producers. She wants to find a mate who will accept her for who she is.

Don’t we all? Anyway, there’s nothing better to cheer a gal up then have a Maserati flown in directly for her!

By the way, it’s such an obvious ploy to keep having Jonathan Cheban pop up on this show. He’s Kim’s best friend, not Kourtney’s or Khloe’s. Clearly, this was a setup by E! to help plug their next reality show, The Spin Crowd.

But enough about him, Khloe is back next week and she comes with a very angry visitor. Oh snap, Scott is about to endure the wrath of Kris Jenner. Amen.

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hey Kourtney love your show. whats new with Scott? do you now katy parry? Im adicted to your show,P.S Im 7 in a hafe so its lunch time so bye

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Hey kourtney just to remind you, mason dosen't even know who you are yet, much less scott, so don't go around saying mason misses him and wants him to come home, IT'S you that want that loser home open your eye cant you see what going on he is just using you, You just happen to trap him with the baby thing like alot of girls do when they want a man trap.

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He really is a total sociopath. Hope she is actually realizing how damaging he is. She can do way better. He isn't even cute! Nothing about him is attractive. Yuck.