Southwest Airlines to Kevin Smith: Beat it, Fatty!

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Ding! You are now free to get your fat ass off this plane.

Kevin Smith, director of Mallrats, Clerks, Chasing Amy and similar films, was told to take a hike from a Southwest Airlines flight for apparently being obese.

"You [messed] with the wrong sedentary processed-foods eater!" Smith, whose next film, Cop Out, comes out February 26, posted in an epic Twitter rant.

That was one of many Tweets (many not G-rated) fired off recounting the 39-year-old actor/director's expulsion Saturday from an Oakland-Burbank flight.

Southwest said officials had called Smith to offer their "heartfelt apologies," but also stated his removal was for the "safety and comfort of all customers."

Here's how it all went down:

Southwest

Smith had two tickets, but then decided to fly standby on an earlier flight, where only one remained. He was asked to leave after being seated. Southwest said:

"If a customer cannot lower the armrest and infringes on a portion of another seat, an adjacent customer would be very uncomfortable and a timely exit from the aircraft in the event of an unexpected emergency might be compromised."

THG NOTE: Isn't any emergency unexpected. Random question. Just asking.

"I know I'm fat," Smith says, having battled weight issues for years but. "I broke no regulation, offered no 'safety risk' (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?)"

"I saw someone bigger than me on THAT flight! But I wasn't about to throw a fellow Fatty under the plane. He & I made eye contact, he was like 'Please don't tell...'"

At least the humiliated director didn't lose his trademark sense of humor.

After landing in Burbank on a later flight, he wrote, "Don't worry: wall of the plane was opened & I was airlifted out while Richard Simmons supervised."

Kendra Wilkinson would've also worked. Whose side are you on?

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This is stupid. He buys two tickets when he flies because he knows he needs two seats. The bottom line is that if he is in an aisle seat (which he was) and can't put down the armrest - he is a safety risk. If there would be a crash he could fall into the aisle and impede the evacuation process of the other passengers. I would love for all of the people on his side to sit next to overweight people every time they fly. It is extremely uncomfortable and that is why the man needs two seats. Go Southwest.

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Your ego seems to be as big as your mass. You brought this on yourself. Take responsibility for your actions. It's YOUR fault because you're TOO big, and it's YOUR fault because you took it upon yourself to take an earlier flight rather than the one in which originally booked, WHICH HAD THE TWO SEATS YOU NEEDED! But hey... maybe you need the publicity. Makes me wonder about the quality of that movie you have coming out...