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New Moon Review: The Hollywood Gossip Style

 

The Twilight Saga: New Moon premiered Friday after months of unprecedented hype. In the end, a solid picture delivered as advertised and almost lived up to it.

Having been a part of box office history, we've got our New Moon review for you here. Tell us what you thought of the film by commenting and voting in our poll!

As is our custom with The Hills, The City, The Bachelor and Bachelorette, the THG staff reviews New Moon, awarding and deducting points as we see fit ...

The feel of the movie is better than Twilight ... the scenery a bit less bleak, the vampires less pale. There's even some sun in the Italy scenes! Plus 2.

Edward leaves Bella after a birthday paper cut nearly gets her eaten. Minus 10. We knew it was coming, but thanks a lot, Jasper, for what resulted in a movie almost entirely devoid of Robert Pattinson. Control your urges next time, jerk.

Listening to the majority-female audience erupt at the first glimpse of Taylor Lautner shirtless - when Bella wrecks the motorcycle and Jacob dispatches of his shirt to stop the bleeding - was a scene out of a movie ... at a movie. Plus 19.

In Twilight, Kristin Stewart was great as Bella discovered love and grappled with its forbidden nature. In New Moon, she just kinda stares a lot. Minus 5.

Edward: "You gave me everything just by breathing." Swoon. Plus 4.

Jacob, on how his wolf pals in all their shirtless, homoerotic roughhousing glory must look to an outsider: "It's not a lifestyle choice." LOL. Plus 3.

Bella's "visions" of Edward aren't really doing it for us. For a teenager, this guy seems awfully lifeless, like even he can't believe he's doing this. Minus only 2, though, because it's better than no Edward, and he is 104 years old after all.

Plus 3 for the convincingly bad ass werewolf special effects!

We know it's a four-part saga, but New Moon is the ultimate Team Jacob show. Unlike brooding Edward, Jake has a wicked sense of humor that adds a new element to the sexual tension smoldering just beneath the surface with Bella. Plus 7.

New Moon Picture

Bella's dad: "Love who is good for you." If only, Charlie Swan. If only. Minus 1.

Mixed reviews on these Volturi peeps. Some are hard to take seriously, but the lead guy is evil and Dakota Fanning creepily sadistic as hell. So ... Even.

Man, Bella wants to be bitten so hard. When she gets on an plane to rescue her lover, it happens to be ... Virgin Air. Think that was intentional? Plus 2.

Edward finally figures out he was wrong to leave Bella, and slow motion, shirtless drama ensues. The theater explodes again. It's. About. Time. Plus 6.

Seven freaking months until Eclipse. Minus 1,293. But Plus 1,294 because if it's true to the books, it'll be worth the wait, and better than New Moon.

TOTAL: +29! In some ways a letdown because its most popular star plays a supporting role at most, New Moon is at the same time sexier, darker and funnier than Twilight. The characters are (mostly) relatable and dynamic, and the action riveting.

Its biggest flaw was the PR machine setting the bar too high. Obviously, it's all about getting people in the door, but it couldn't possibly live up to the hype - especially for what many believe was the least awesome of the four Twilight Saga books.

What did you think of New Moon?

OMG, it was the BEST.
It was really good.
It was alright.
Eh, not a fan.
New Moon sucks!
View Poll »

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32 Comments

  1. Sam//

    "...his wolf pals in all their shirtless, homoerotic roughhousing glory..."
    ... I mean... whole reason I went to see it. (oh wait... i d i d n t . )

  2. Melissa

    to britgirl... They all know sam, it's a small town and everyone knows everyone else. Charlie has met sam before

  3. Tessa

    Taylor Lautner is the best actor in this movie (for real I'm not some OMG HE IS SOOO SXC!!!1!! person) he did a really good job of capturing the playfulness of jacob. Kristen just kinda stood there huffing and puffing and looking like she was on gonna fall asleep every 3 minuets. When I first heard her dear alice stuff I thought it was gonna be downhill form there (regarding that) but it really kinda added an insight into what bella was really feeling w/out having some weird OV. over all 1,334 times better then Twilight

  4. Maddie

    I hate it when people say that new moon was the worst just because Edward's gone! new moon is my second fav (right next to eclipse) this review writer is giving me a bias feel because they are obviously team edward...

  5. Jessica Roman

    I am a huge fan of the Twilight Saga and liked the first Twilight film especially because of the great storytelling and of course the even better casting. However, I am very disappointed in the way New Moon was presented. The director could have really done a much better job telling the story. "Twilight" was better in that "Bella" speaks throughout the movie and basically makes you understand what is going on, letting you in their world, but New Moon is just hours of bad acting and boredom. There should have been a voice in the background telling the magnificent story Stephenie Meyer created but instead we got heavy breathing, crying and screaming. I love Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson but they do need a bit more coaching and direction from the director or even Stephanie Meyer herself because New Moon is just BORING! and a huge disappointment. Awesome job by Taylor Lautner (even though I am Team Edward!) I truly hope the studio gets its act together to invest a bit more time and

  6. Gretchen

    Kristen is not believable in the scene where edward is leaving her. In the same position anyone else would be balling their eyes out and begging him to stay. Instead she just looks at him, no tears at all.

  7. Peter Edwards

    I was very disappointed in Mew Moon. Twilight was so very much better and intense.
    New Moon lacked any sort of passion compared with Twilight, and was very clearly spoiled by the new Director who it seemed, just wanted to make a quick sequel and lots of money for the share holders.
    The film seemed very rushed, with Bella's performance very uninspiring and I almost felt that she was bored.
    All the passion was gone.
    What also happened to all that great music we heard in Twilight?
    New Moon had none of this, just having an orchestra playing endlessly in the background. Where also were all the great camera shots that we saw in Twilight? Those clever panoramic views of the actors and scenery where the 'revolving' pictures 'did the talking' with no words being necessary?
    New Moon was basically a rushed sequel for the benefit of the share holders and their tight 'money deadlines.' Very disappointed.
    Bring back the original Twilight Director!

  8. Bonnie

    Our entire family, 1st, 2nd, 3rd generation loves the Twilight Saga. The books are AWESOME...Twilight was wonderful with it's depiction of true first love, introduction to the cast, characters, and families (although they could have expounded more on the Cullen family), and setting the stage for the series. Even with Kristen Stewarts lack of acting, feelings and emotions it was my most favorite. New Moon however, was devoid of feelings, even the scene where Edward leaves was cold and impersonable. With the exception of Jacobs wonderful acting and the excellent presentation of the werewolves and the depictions of Edward the Twilight Saga would have lost me.

  9. Anne22

    As a fan of the twilight bpok series, i think the movie is really good.Great performances by robert,kristen & tyler!!!! Hey,I hope they come to INDIA to promote Eclipse!!!!

  10. elle

    Very nice although I still like Twilight more but I still New Moon is worth watching=) Love can indeed conquers all:)


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