DJ AM Talks About His Drug Addiction, Suicide Attempt

It's been a long time since we had a DJ AM sighting at The Hollywood Gossip and we'd just like to take a moment to welcome Nicole Richie's ex-fiance back.

The circumstances of his return? A shockingly revealing interview in February's issue of Glamour magazine, where DJ AM says that his father's verbal abuse was so bad it led to his drug addiction and almost taking his own life.

"I grew up in Philadelphia with a father who seemed to hate me: The verbal abuse he subjected me to was unbelievably cruel," DJ AM (a.k.a. Adam Goldstein) says. "If my family went out to dinner, my father would hit on the [male] waiter right in front of my mom... Finally she'd had enough and kicked him out."

But DJ AM says he blamed himself for the abuse. "To deal with all of my anger and sadness, I ate," he says. "By the time I was 10, I was obese."

DJ AM soon started taking drugs daily, for about two years, and eventually went to his mom and actually asked her to send him away to rehab.

But the treatment center â€" which specialized in "tough love," DJ AM recalls â€" "was an abusive house of horrors that would eventually be shut down. The counselors beat us. They spit in our faces. They starved us," he said.

"When I left rehab, I'd learned absolutely nothing about recovery ... I attended a few meetings, but within five months I was back doing drugs. Then my father died. Eventually, my mom kicked me out of her house as well."

Goldstein says his "main income was stealing cash and drugs from dealers. By 20, he began "freebasing cocaine" around the same time he began deejaying. "I would take my money, then race downtown and buy crack," he tells the magazine.

Overweight and hooked on drugs at 24, DJ AM felt his life was over.

"I went into my living room, reached into a cabinet above my TV and grabbed my gun, a loaded .22. I sat back, cocked it and put it into my mouth. I squinted my eyes and said, 'F--k this!' I pulled the trigger. But the gun didn't go off."

Follow the link to continue reading DJ AM's disturbing stories ...