The Bachelor 2017 Preview: My Heart is Gold, But My Vagine is Platinum

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An extended sneak preview for the 21st season of The Bachelor aired Monday night following the premiere, and it is nothing short of insane.

In. Sane. In the absolute best possible way.

Nick Cries on The Bachelor

“Everything has led to this moment … where I can prove to America that if you don’t give up on love, then eventually you can find it.” - Nick Viall


While he may truly be looking for love, and may end up engaged (see The Bachelor spoilers for more on that), this is hilarious nonsense.

The fact that the producers are trying to sell this as Nick's redemption tour, rather than the entertaining spectacle it is, is just laughable.

That said, we are 100 percent all in regardless.

If last night's The Bachelor season premiere was any indication, this could very well be best season yet - for all the right reasons (sorry).

Nick Gets Hit

It was a tremendous two hours, and we're just getting going, as the nearly four-minute preview below shows Viall getting slapped hard.

It also shows Jaimi telling Nick about her ex-girlfriend (yes, girlfriend), and Nick becoming the sixth Backstreet Boy, his true calling in life.

Meanwhile, Liz Sandoz telling Christen, the virgin, that she and Nick have had sex, which evidently happened before the season began.

To quote Chris Harrison, that's a first in BACHELOR HISTORY.

Not a first? Nick contemplating whether this was all a big mistake, and making himself (and many of his would-be wives) bawl uncontrollably.

The unquestioned star of the preview, however, is Corinne Olympios, who's already staking her claim to notoriety as this year's villain.

Think Courtney Robertson ... but worse.

Corrine Greets Nick

“I am not a runner-up, and my sex abilities are top notch … so tonight, I am going to go see Nick, and I’m going to have sex with him."

That is a quote from Corinne in this clip.

"It’s going to be magical," she adds, as we see her march on down to Nick's hotel room. "My heart is gold, but my vagine is platinum.”

Yes, she bragged about her vagine.

Considering that earlier in the same preview, we see her take her top off in front of Nick AND the other girls, then basically ride him in a bikini?

Well, she's going to be a quite a force, and not because she runs a multi-million dollar company, which she also loves to brag about.

Brace yourselves, Bachelor Nation:

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The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]