The Bachelor Season Premiere Recap: Jump the Shark Costume

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It's that time again, THGers and Bachelor Nation.

The Bachelor Season 21 is underway, starring none other than the all-too-familiar (and controversial) franchise pass-around Nick Viall.

While The Bachelor spoilers offer some detailed hints about the outcome of this season, Monday's premiere offered our first TV glimpse ...

Nick Viall, Dolled Up

Following back-to-back runner-up finishes on The Bachelorette in 2014 and 2015, and a stint in Paradise in 2016, Nick is back yet again.

Seeing him in the starring role for the first time may please Bachelor Nation ... or not. But either way, it will get people talking for sure.

Is the fourth time the charm? Can he emerge from The Bachelor with his (mostly) rejuvenated reputation intact - and will he find love?

We can't speak to that, but as we said, the OUTCOME OF THE ENTIRE THREE-MONTH SEASON is available by following the link above.

Hey, you don't really know who Nick picks and if spoilers are right until the finale, right? And it makes the whole thing more fun to watch.

Anyway, whether you're a Bachelor spoilers junkie or not, proceed for the recap of Monday's premiere and an analysis of Nick's options ...

Nick Viall Bachelor Poster

Even Nick can't believe he's really doing this again as The Bachelor Season 21 Episode 1 begins with the obligatory flashback filler.

The obligatory shower montage was followed by his sister - and former stars Chris Soules, Sean Lowe and Ben Higgins - giving advice.

At least we know that this contrived nonsense is somewhat authentic by the razzing Sean and Chris give Nick, because how can you not.

Anyway, getting down to the main event:

Rachel Lindsay is the first woman out of the limo, and you know the beautiful African-American attorney didn't receive that honor by accident.

Zero question she's a keeper.

Josephine, meanwhile, brought Nick a hot dog and asks him to “lady and the tramp it.” The hot dog was not even cooked, it's worth noting. 

These intros are getting weirder by the season.

Sarah wore sneakers and ran up to Nick so he wouldn't feel like the only "runner-up" this year, for the best Nick "in" joke of the night. 

Even Viall had to laugh at that one. Along with a contestant who led with the fact that she was the only last name worse than his: Hussey. 

Another early entrant, Corinne Olympios, is already being built up as the gorgeous model who rubs everybody the wrong way in the mansion.

Except Nick. You know she will rub him right. 

Corrine (The Bachelor)

Alexis came out of the limo dressed up as a shark, which she either believes is a dolphin or claims to in order to get maximum air time. 

Time will tell whether that strategy worked.

Perhaps most compellingly, Liz Sandoz, who was Bachelor alum Jade Roper’s maid of honor at her wedding to Tanner Tolbert, is here.

Obviously, Nick railed Liz at the wedding, then never called her, and wasn't aware she was cast on his season of the show until now.

That's as hilariously awkward as it gets.

After a chat with Chris Harrison, Nick remembers Liz, and isn't thrilled that she pulled this stunt instead of just getting his digits from Jade.

Elizabeth S. (The Bachelor)

In an over-the-top production stunt, Jasmine brought Neil Lane with her to make her limo entrance, which likely gave Nick some PTSD.

Vanessa Grimaldi, for her part, caught Nick's eye from the beginning, both for obvious reasons and for the fact that she's so multilingual.

After the limo intros, there's the first impression rose on the line, and the tension is rising as a number of ladies know they have a chance.

Others, meanwhile, are likely out the door.

Corinne then cemented her status as the Bachelor contestant all the other girls make voodoo dolls of when she stole Nick away for a kiss.

All the women obviously freaked out over this, but Nick did not give her the first impression rose as she was all but certain he would do.

Who did he bestow it upon instead?

Rachel (The Bachelor)

Rachel, the first out of the limo. Aww. 

He likes her "aura" and other things. Already, we're starting to see some big contenders emerge, and she's clearly one of them.

On the flip side, we've forgotten about half of their names. Not a good sign for that half of the field of 30 women who arrived.

Before we get to the Rose Ceremony, there was some unfinished business between Nick and Liz, who he eventually confronted.

She was pleasantly surprised that he remembered her. Nick was ... unpleasantly surprised that Liz was surprised about this.

Nick never said that he was intimate with her; Liz was the one who kept repeating that. No making love to Andi Dorfman redux.

Liz insisted she wasn’t there for the notoriety, but Nick hit back with the ultimate dig, questioning if she came on this for the “right reasons.”

Would she survive the elimination portion of the night?

All we know is that Alexis, still in her shark costume, has already won. And she got a rose, which could not have been more deserved.

Not including Rachel, here's a list of Who's In ... 

Vanessa, Danielle L., Christen, Astrid, Corinne, Elizabeth, Jasmine G., Raven, Kristina, Danielle M., Sarah, Josephine, Lacey, Taylor, Alexis, Hailey, Whitney, Dominique, Jaimi, Brittany and Liz ...

... and Who's Out:

Olivia, Angela, Lauren, Briana, Ida Marie, Jasmine B., Michelle and Susannah.

Follow the link to watch The Bachelor online and discuss in the comments who you think will make it to the hometown dates - and beyond.

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The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]