Skip to Content

Last week, high-end department store chain Nordstrom cut business ties with Ivanka Trump.

The retailer stated that it would no longer stock clothing, shoes, and accessories branded by the president’s daughter due to steadily declining sales.

Nordstrom’s response seems to be a perfectly reasonable business decision based on sales data, so naturally our level-headed and business-minded president took the diplomatic approach and wished the company success in its future endeavors.

Just kidding, he went off in a childish Twitter rant because being the western world apparently leaves plenty of time for petty social media feuds.

Fortunately, Trump has slightly less psychotic surrogates who are paid to assure the American people that the president isn’t quite as unhinged as he seems to be online.

Kellyanne Conway Photo
(2016 Getty Images)

The task seems have driven White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer to the brink of intestinal blockage by way of stress-gorging on cinnamon Orbitz, but fortunately for him, Kellyanne Conway lives for this sh-t.

If you thought "alternative facts" and made-up terrorist attacks were bold, just wait until you see Conway brazenly flout federal ethics laws barring the use of public office for private gain.

Conway appeared on Fox & Friends this morning, where she openly shilled for Ivanka’s fashion line:

“It’s a wonderful line. I own some of it,” Conway said.

“I fully — I’m going to give a free commercial here. Go buy it today, everybody. You can find it online.”

Considering conlifcts of interest due to the Trump family’s business ties were a top concern for many voters, you would think the president’s TV surrogate would avoid…

… Ah, we’re over expecting this administration to make sense.

And hey, it’s not every day you get to watch a democracy crumble in real time.