Channing Tatum

Hey, Jessie J:

We know someone who wants to channing all over your tatum.

The world may not be sure what the hell happened to cause Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum to split.

But a report claims to know what's next for Channing, at least. He's said to be headed for New York. For his life and for his career.

Jenna Dewan has a very simple and straightforward message to share with Internet users:

Do.. not... believe... everything... you... read.

It's shocking and saddening, but it's apparently true:

Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are splitting up.

Love is officially dead.

We are most definitely living in the darkest timeline.

We might not be emotionally prepared for this.

Here we are, still reeling from news of Chris Pratt and Anna Faris's divorce, and now it seems that we might have to brace ourselves for a sad announcement from another one of Hollywood's most beloved couples.

If you listen to enough internet commenters who concern-troll celebrities, mothers shouldn't eat anything (but also shouldn't be "too thin") and also should always look their best without ever looking "too good."

This time, the celebrity getting unfairly slammed is none other than the beautiful and talented Jenna Dewan Tatum.

There are plenty of reasons to love Channing Tatum.

There's his chiseled jawline. And his abdominal muscles. And those biceps.

Give Channing Tatum credit.

For having a tight body, incredible dance moves and a winning personality?