On 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days Season 5, Episode 11, some couples reached a new peace while others reached a breaking point.
Ximena has grown distant, even giving Mike an ultimatum before she will let him buy her wedding dress.
But the prospect of paying for her boob job is the least of Mike’s worries.
Ben is eager to impress Mahogany, which leads to a tour of a super fake seeming apartment … and meeting her parents.
Gino and Jasmine are somehow back on track … but he’s now terrified to meet her mom.
Kimberly and Usman wake up for the first time as girlfriend and boyfriend, but Usman has something to confess.
Finally, Memphis reacts to Hamza’s cold feet, but when it’s time to give her own confession, things take a sharp downward turn.
Mike Berk and Ximena Cuellar
Last week, Mike received a less than warm welcome in Colombia, and that has only intensified. The two are en route to go wedding dress shopping, and Ximena is already annoyed that Mike is with her.
Even him asking her how she is doing annoys her
Ximena has huge “sullen teenager” energy. On the one hand, it’s clear that she’s had a hard life — she became pregnant as a teenager, to say nothing of the men she’s been with in the past. One can understand that she has a different view of the world. On the other … rolling your eyes when your fiance asks a normal, polite question is just rude.
Her mood improves at the dress shop
Ximena feels that she looks like a “princess” and also “divine” as she tries on a dress, though Mike — per tradition — is not allowed to look.
But her mood could be better
Ximena admits to the camera that she is unhappy with Mike and plans to confront him about it.
WHY won’t he pay for her to have a boob job?
Ximena wants him to pay for her breast augmentation, and asks why he’s willing to buy her a wedding dress but not this?
Ximena has specific ideas about it
She wants larger breasts, she wants to use it to possibly launch a modeling career, and she says that this is for her — so whether he is happy with her breasts as they are is moot.
It’s not a request; it’s an ultimatum
Ximena tells him that she’s not letting him buy her a wedding dress (and thus, not marrying him) until he has paid for her to get a breast augmentation.
Later, things get even worse
It’s bedtime, and Mike has to ask Ximena if she’s planning to be intimate on this trip … because so far, she has not.
That’s a no
Ximena, like everyone else on the planet, has every right to decline sex at any time for any reason (or for no reason). However, if she wants to continue the relationship, it’s not unreasonable for her to explain why.
Her reason is … that Mike is “weird”
Ximena then goes on to list some frankly juvenile gripes about Mike. He stops eating when she stops eating, he moves to be closer to her when they do things. He also showers her with affection regularly, which she does not like.
Wow
Some of that is stuff that can be worked on (teaching Mike to be more independent when he’s visiting, but it’s tricky since she’s basically the only person whom she knows). Some of that stuff is a difference of personal preference — many people prefer regular displays of affection unless there’s an underlying issue. But it really feels like she’s straight-up saying that she doesn’t like Mike at all.
And there it is
Mike has to ask Ximena an important question: does she love him? Her answer is “no.” She straight up tells him that she’s not in love with him. Our only question at this point is why this isn’t the absolute final conversation that they have.
Ben Rathbun and Mahogany Roca
Ben met Mahogany for the first time despite being ghosted for a while. She clearly felt that he looked different — less beefy — than his photos, so Ben has his tatas out and clearly aims to impress her when they meet up for a meal.
MUA?
Ben explains that his MUA (makeup artist … just say that) gave him some bronzer to wear. Ben realizes that it has glitter in it, as it’s likely designed for photoshoots and not visiting the boardwalk, and frantically wipes it off. Oh, Ben.
He travels to meet her
Sometimes, 90 Day Fiance shows you fascinating aspects of how other people live their lives — not better, not worse, just different. Sometimes, it shows us what looks like a child’s toy car trying to fit a grown human man in the back seat.
Reunited with Mahogany!
One of the things that this show does so well is unironically portraying absurd things as if the viewers are taking things as seriously as the cast. Like the over-the-top nonsense music that plays during Angela Deem’s intros. We see that again as lovey-dovey romantic music plays and Ben and Mahogany meet up while a drone camera circles around them, as if they look normal and not like a college student meeting up with her dad.
Ben tries ceviche at Mahogany’s urging
Though he initially likes it (it’s diced raw fish that is “cooked” by the citric acid in lemon juice), he is overwhelmed by the spiciness and says that, as an American, the spiciest thing that he usually eats as ketchup. That may sound odd … until we remember that he spent the first decades of his life in a cult. He likely wasn’t allowed to listen to any music, eat any food, or read any books that weren’t very traditional white American foods.
Ben asks why she was so reluctant to meet him
He asks if it was her father, whom he has come to understand does not approve of this “relationship.”
It was her father’s questions
Mahogany says that she got cold feet about meeting him before deciding that it was worth taking the chance.
Ben wants to meet her parents … tonight
Mahogany’s face has a very reasonable reaction. This is a pair who are effectively on their second date. Ben can believe that this relationship is “God’s plan” all that he likes, but they barely know each other, and he already wants a sit-down with her parents. But Mahogany may have more reasons to panic than most.
How about a tour?
Mahogany offers Ben a tour of “her” home … even though it looks like a moderately staged house, full of bland decor that has no personal touches. It’s not just that the apartment doesn’t have any photos hanging up — it looks fake.
Even Ben notices that something’s up
The spare room has bunk beds, which are almost universally for children when they’re in a house, but Mahogany awkwardly explains that they’re for friends to crash on. Sure.
Wait, doesn’t she live with her parents?
Ben has been under that impression for the entire time, but Mahogany says no.
Jose and Silvia brace themselves to meet Ben
The apartment seems extremely fake to us, but these definitely look like Mahogany’s parents. There is a strong resemblance between Silvia and Mahogany in particular.
But he’s so old!
Jose points out the obvious — Ben is a grown man in his fifties dating a girl less than half his age. It’s not illegal, but it’s weird and maybe even creepy.
“Love knows no age”
Mahogany is acting as translator for Ben and for her parents, but the presence of the cameras keeps her from carefully editing things.
Hold the phone
Silvia casually mentions her daughter’s age — because Mahogany is 22. Ben has, this entire time, been under the impression that she is 24. (This is something that we noted earlier this year when we reported on Mahogany existing but not being quite what Ben thought)
What???
Though Mahogany manages to half-convince that this was somehow a translation error, he is pretty weirded out. The apartment is clearly fake and she’s not the age that he thought that she was. Two years might not seem like much, but he has a 22-year-old daughter and this is a lot for him. And yet, somehow, he’s gonna power on through this relationship with a 22-year-old.
Gino Palazzolo and Jasmine Pineda
Gino and Jasmine are back together despite their latest dealbreaker, but are packing up to leave the resort island one day early. It’s just not the sexy getaway that they imagined, obviously. Jasmine is stunned that Gino retrieved the toothbrush that she threw onto the dirt (he suggests that she replace the head and it will be as good as new). No toothbrush should be talked about this much.
Jasmine believes it can all work out
Of course, before that, he has to meet her mother … and her mother’s opinion will carry a tremendous amount of weight.
Jasmine had saved a shirt of Gino’s to remember him by
This is when Gino confesses that he had done the same after their fight … but, in his case, it was her fingernail.
HER FINGERNAIL?!
Yeah, that’s the face that you make when your boyfriend tells you that he had saved your fingernail to remember you by.
They arrive in David, Panama
It’s not only a beautiful province, it’s also where her mom lives.
Gino is back to square one
In addition to losing a lot of trust with Jasmine (you know how she creepily demands to know his whereabouts at all times?), he also needs to treat her like a queen to keep this second chance going.
He does get away for a little while
But it’s to go ring-shopping. Yes, after all of this, he’s going to buy a ring, because he only has a week or so to earn back her trust, and he wants to be ready to propose.
Oh Gino …
Gino passes on a ring that is less than $1,000 because it’s too expensive, and aims for a $270 ring. On the one hand, that is an extremely cheap engagement ring, and Jasmine is the sort of person who would care about that. On the other, Gino has been out of work for many months. Kind of a no-win scenario.
Jasmine doesn’t see the ring yet
But when they spot a food cart, she insists that Gino buy a meaty snack from it, reminding him that she does not eat meat. Gino isn’t hungry and doesn’t know what the food is, but she insists.
She is up to no good
Jasmine notes that it’s pig’s feet, which she says is a traditional dish. (Pig’s feet is a traditional dish anywhere that has pigs and has ever had poverty, including parts of the southwestern United States)
Misery
In addition to having to touch the food with his hands (an unthinkable fate), Gino finds that it is wildly disgusting.
Before he meets her mom …
Jasmine tells him that he shouldn’t bring up the bad things that he’s done, right down to giving her a pregnancy test upon arrival. She also told her mom a fake backstory about how they met through an educational conference and doesn’t want Gino to poke holes in that story.
Gino is suddenly extremely nervous
And there’s one more thing: Jasmine warns that her mom will insist that they pray before they eat, and will ask him to take off his hat to do so. Gino goes from being nervous to being in a state of panic.
Kimberly Menzies and Usman Umar
Kimberly wakes up very excited. She and Usman are now girlfriend and boyfriend, and they boned.
She’s VERY happy
She jokes about being worried that she will walk funny when she gets up and out of bed. She also speaks at length to the camera about how she thinks that “African sex” has a different rhythm to it than American sex. Also less foreplay.
But …
Usman has something that he needs to tell Kimberly sooner rather than later, since “American women react to everything.”
First, things get spicy
Literally, they go and see and smell spices. Honestly, this part was intriguing to watch as an American. We know, intellectually, where spices come from, but most of us have only seen a handful of plants (like basil) mentioned on the labels on our spice racks. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s neat to learn new things.
They have fun
These goofy hats are actually pretty cute. It’s a cute moment.
Until it’s time for Usman to fess up
He starts to speak to Kimberly about Zara, because he doesn’t want her to find out “the wrong way,” but Kimberly can already tell that it’s not going to be good. However, their storyline in this episode ends with a cliffhanger. Remember how he told her that Zara was just a generic name and not a specific woman? Well, he might wish that he told her sooner.
Memphis Sandoval and Moknii Hamza
Memphis (also known as Memphis Smith) came onto the rooftop to tell Hamza her big confession, only for him to go first, telling her that they were rushing into marrying. She was stunned.
He DOES still want to marry her
But he is getting cold feet over the prenup. It’s not part of his culture (it’s more common in the United States, and much more common with Millennials like Memphis — as a group, Millennials tend to be more selective about spouses than past generations and in some cases more realistic about divorce, with obvious exceptions).
His mom reminded him to take this seriously
Love isn’t a game, and he’s worried that she will divorce him like she did her ex-husband.
But Memphis is kind of angry
Why would he ask her to come all of this way, to do so much, only to get cold feet now? She feels like she’s been lead on.
Then, it’s her turn
Memphis tells him that she stayed for four nights at her ex’s house early in her relationship with Hamza. Nothing happened sexually — she and her ex are good friends, and they are also co-parents.
But Hamza is furious
He feels that she “f–ked him over” and feels humiliated and disrespected. As Memphis knows, in his culture, exes aren’t friends at all and don’t even speak to each other, so this is hard for him to understand.
He feels hurt and lied to
At the time, their relationship was so new, but Memphis definitely dragged her feet about telling him.
His mom talks to Memphis
Hayet correctly tells her that she should have told Hamza a lot earlier. She’s not wrong.
So … why did Memphis need to stay there?
She needed emotional support after a huge setback. She was depressed and in a bad place. Staying with her ex meant that she was still being fed and that her kids were also being cared for while she recovered.
What was the setback?
Memphis says that she had not passed a test for her job (nursing) which was a serious career setback. Given that she spoke to Hamza without a mic, however, many viewers speculate that there may be something that she is leaving out, such as a suicide attempt, possibly because one of her kids is a teenager who will almost certainly hear about if not watch this season. We are glad that Memphis received the emotional support that she needed.