On last week’s episode, Sophie came out to Rob. She’s bisexual, and she wanted him to know.
Season 10, Episode 10 showed Rob’s response. In a sense, it took up the entire episode.
The guy could teach a master class on how not to respond to a loved one coming out to you. Yikes.
Rob Warne and Sophie Sierra
On last week’s episode, Sophie came out to Rob as bisexual. Her response? A long, awkward silence. Rob has a tendency to just get quiet without explanation. There are worse habits, to be clear. But it’s unsettling. And those seconds of quiet feel like an eternity to his fiancee.
“I haven’t dated any women”
When Rob finally speaks, it starts sounding like an interrogation. He doesn’t know why she didn’t tell him sooner. And he wants to know if she’s been with a woman. The first answer is that she wanted to tell him in person, and they’ve been a little busy. The second is no. Some bi folks never hook up with some genders. A bi person (or a straight or gay person) could go their entire lives without sex without it changing who they are. Rob, however, starts trying to explain away Sophie’s sexuality — claiming that women can recognize each other’s beauty. Yeah, Rob, they can, but that’s not the same thing as being attracted to women.
Oh dear
The bi-erasure was pretty bad. But Rob starts convincing himself of scenarios in which Sophie is going to one day leave him. One of his fears is that she’ll resent him. That’s a normal thing to worry about. Another fear is that “in 5 or 10 years” she’s going to cheat on him with a woman. That’s not okay. Like, cheating is bad, but assuming that a bi person is more likely to cheat is just textbook biphobia. It’s on the adjoining page to “but don’t all women recognize each other’s beauty” or whatever. Sophie affirms that she would never cheat on him.
She would never go behind his back
Sophie adds that if she felt one day that she absolutely had to know what it’s like to be with a woman, she’d come to him first. Rob very quickly said that if she “got to f–k another woman” then he, too, would get to. Sophie points out that she’s talking about a hypothetical — that he brought up — of her experiencing her sexuality, which he would not be doing. Eventually, Rob does thank her for coming out to him. He acknowledges that “it wasn’t easy.” Up next, they’re going on an important shopping trip.
Ah, romance
Rob spends the entirety of the drive to go ring-shopping interrogating and straight-up berating Sophie about being bi. You will not be surprised to hear that he managed to tie this back to his online cheating. He accuses Sophie of having tried to police when he looks at other women (sexting with a woman who’s sending you her videos on Snapchat is not “looking”). And yet she “secretly” is into women too. They’re not the same. But, ultimately, Rob seems incapable of admitting when he’s done something wrong. That defensiveness turns into offense again and again and again.
Cheap gold, cheap rings
Inside (after “accidentally” locking Sophie in the car), Rob wastes no time in asking for “cheap gold” and for the store’s cheapest rings. It’s viscerally uncomfortable to watch. Sophie feels embarrassed, but she recognizes that Rob is lashing out. “We have personal issues,” she tells the camera, “but you don’t need to bring the ring guy into it.” True!
Oh he’s just such a manbaby
Rob starts ranting to the jewelry store clerk about learning new things about Sophie. He doesn’t out her, but that makes it worse. “He’s making it sound as if I’ve done something awful,” Sophie explains to the cameras. Eventually, as they try on the cheap rings, Rob mellows out little by little. Of course, they’ll always remember his petty pity-party.