On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days Season 6, Episode 5, it was time for a few pairs to find out if they actually like each other.
Others were dealing with cold feet, bigotry, or conflicting emotions. Take a look at our full recap, below!
By the way … we still have yet to meet one of the couples.
That introduction is coming next week.
Meisha Johnson and Nicola Kanaan
Before we recoil in horror at the idea of waking up to Nicola awkwardly looming like this, we should remember that at least one of them woke up and called producers into the room. Now, maybe it was Nicola. Or maybe Meisha got up, freshened up, and then got back in bed to “wake up” on camera. Either way, it’s their first morning together as a couple.
“What’s that heavy petting?”
Officially, “nothing” happened the night before. But Meisha and Nicola seem to be telling different stories. According to Nicola, they cuddled and kissed. Meisha, meanwhile, said that there was “some heavy petting.” This odd euphemism refers to sexual contact involving hands. Nicola does not know the term at all. But does Meisha? Or does she think that a chaste makeout session qualifies?
“So now, I need to steam iron”
The majority of Americans do not use an iron even once a month. There are exceptions — cosplayers, business professionals, and certain influencers. Meisha is so dedicated to her looks and wardrobe that she irons her clothes before an outing where she’s just walking around a city. Nicola finds this baffling, and boasts about how quickly he will be ready for the day. Honestly, they are both at extreme ends — one putting in zero effort, the other doing the absolute most. They don’t feel compatible.
You can imagine what their tour is like
Two ultra-orthodox Catholics touring Nazareth, they stop by various sites that are considered holy within Christianity. However, Meisha is there to meet Nicola — not to tour Israel. For years, he has been her Catholic mentor. But is he also husband material?
Meisha wants to meet Nicola’s family
At first, he laughs off her desire to meet family members, like his mom. According to him, only a small number of people know that he wants to marry Meisha. His mother is not one of those people. As it turns out, his mom barely knows that she exists.
This just isn’t important to Nicola
But to Meisha, meeting his family is pretty important. It’s not like he’s no-contact or something; he literally lives with his mother. Nicola asks her to cite where in the bible (Christianity’s holy book) it says that she needs to meet his family. But Meisha is talking about the building blocks of a relationship. And Nicola laughs, is dismissive, and generally makes it clear that Meisha’s priorities are not his.
But this isn’t going away
Back in their room, Meisha tries to talk to Nicola. They’re both tired, but she wants to emphasize that they have very little time. Her plan is to marry him, and it’s important to get to know him. The way that he deflects makes that hard, and it feels like he’s not taking her seriously.
“I mean, that’s a drama”
If it doesn’t feel like he’s taking her seriously, it’s because he isn’t. Nicola openly mocks Meisha’s desire to talk about their relationship and his family as “drama,” saying that he didn’t expect this from her.
“You are so tired and you start to speak nonsense”
Well, Nicola isn’t going to win the Most Respectful Partner Award this season, we can tell you that much. Telling Meisha that she is only voicing her concerns because she is “tired” is pretty dismissive. And it will get worse.
Couples have to talk about things
Meisha reminds him that this isn’t an issue that will go away. She’s hoping that they can talk about this now, like mature adults, before it festers. Nicola is clearly not interested in conversation about this, however. He makes it clear that he’s done with the topic of informing his family.
“You are the most cute when you are mute”
This insulting rhyme alone should be enough to end this relationship before things continue. It’s not cute. And there’s no special context that explains it away. Run, Meisha, run!
She calls him out
Instead of focusing upon what a jerk he’s being, she talks about how he deflects away from important topics. Remember, she has been in relationships before. Just … not since her conversion, it seems. Nicola hasn’t had a relationship since before Meisha converted, and his behavior might be a result of that. It’s also possible that his behavior is WHY he hasn’t had a real relationship in 16 years.
And it gets worse
Nicola then tells the camera that he has to show Meisha that she, as a woman, cannot “control” him, because he is a man. It sounds like he’s refusing to talk to Meisha because he wants to prove his masculinity. Gender roles brainrot can sabotage relationships.
Amanda Windhelm and Razvan Ciocoi
After their time in the park, Razvan is deep in his feelings about Amanda’s own feelings. Remember, he had a phone call in front of her where he was clearly speaking about her but not in English. Additionally, Amanda was on edge about him kissing another woman in an upcoming music video project.
Remember, Razvan has some baggage
His ex had major jealousy issues, he says. Razvan was married for only six months before they split. He clearly worries that he and Amanda will go through the same thing. Amanda admitted that it felt like he was playing a “game” with her, and he himself stated that this was sort of a “test.” But even though he was the one who decided to dangle this topic over their relationship, he clearly feels hurt.
Amanda doesn’t mean to hurt his feelings
She offers him comfort as well as she can. They’re hurting each other’s feelings right now, and they’ve only known each other in person for a couple of days. She kisses his hand and confirms that they’re good.
“Sometimes, you are just mean with me”
Viewers have observed that Amanda seems cranky with Razvan sometimes. Part of it is likely stress — from being away from her kids, from being in an unfamiliar place, from likely not getting enough sleep. But part of it is probably that Amanda’s idea of how to talk to her partner comes from a very specific dynamic that she had with her late husband.
Christian and Cleo
Still home in the US, Christian stops by to eat with his friends, Tom and Janna. He and Tom go way back, and have also dated some of the same women — though not, Christian notes, at the same time. They’re having brunch while Christian nurses a bit of a hangover after the previous night’s partying. When they ask, he mentions that Cleo does drink, but perhaps not as much as he does.
Tom and Janna know about Cleo
He only opened up about dating her a couple of months ago, but obviously the relationship has lasted longer than that. In fact, Tom says that it has lasted longer than most of Christian’s actual, in-person relationships. Speaking of discussing things, he also recently told some relatives about the relationship. This is where things went sideways.
Telling some family led to more finding out
Some of his relatives are supportive. But others in Christian’s family — he did not say who — reacted with some alarmingly strong opposition. Why? Because Cleo is trans, and unfortunately, transphobia is just as alive and well as other forms of bigotry in the world right now. It doesn’t sound like the conflict was with Christian’s brother (who lives with him). But it is clearly an issue for Christian.
That sucks
Apparently, there is a “whole spectrum” of reactions among critical relatives. Some just have questions (which can range from normal to bigoted) while others are “antagonistic.” Christian doesn’t give a lot of examples. The concern about him facing backlash for dating a trans woman is one thing. But at least one person said something openly and directly transphobic to him, which is a big deal.
Christian says that he’s willing to part ways over this
Many people go no-contact with toxic family. Again, it doesn’t sound like the people who are saying bigoted things about his relationship and Cleo (and trans people in general) are his closest relatives, like his siblings. But he notes that he’s not inseparable from the antagonistic parties. Honestly? Good for him. Who wants bigots in their life?
Will it be that easy?
Tom and Janna note that Christian is part of a pretty tight-knit family. And, clearly, they are not inseparable — which is how the relatives whom he told about his relationship ended up informing the ones who didn’t know. Cutting off toxic relatives isn’t always feasible — sometimes, they’re too deeply embedded in the family tree.
Meanwhile, in London …
Cleo moves into an AirBnB rental because she has a roommate. She and Christian want to get to know each other, one-on-one. Well, fear not, her cats will be there. (One of them is named Abra! I love them both!)
She is anxious about a recent change in Christian
Speaking to the camera, Cleo notes that Christian sounds like he’s getting cold feet about public displays of affection after his family’s backlash. Cleo has faced marginalization and hostility for years. This will be Christian’s first time facing transphobia-by-proxy for being with her. She previously expressed fears that this external bigotry could be too much for him to handle, since he is a cis man. So she’s nervous. Mostly, though, she’s looking forward to seeing him.
Christian is packing up his things
He fully admits to his buddy, Tom (who is driving him to the airport), that his family’s backlash is giving him conflicted feelings. He also admits that he is overthinking things like holding Cleo’s hand in public. It sounds like he wants to treat this as his first meeting with Cleo, even though they have been video chatting every night for months. We’re witnessing in real time how entrenched bigotries in society make people afraid to be with the people they love.
Tom notices
He loves his buddy, but he admits that it would probably feel crappy to have someone fly across an ocean to see you but be suddenly shy about kissing you in public.
David and Sheila
Remember, these two connected last week. They remain more attracted to each other than ever. But now, they have to find out if they can actually communicate and engage with each other in person.
It begins on the car ride
They use a phone to communicate. Sheila only knows limited ASL, and David of course is deaf. Additionally, facing forward in a cramped car is not an ideal position for sign language.
David is a little preoccupied
Traffic in other countries can vary widely. Some countries, when preparing tourists to visit America, let them know about our “polite” traffic system. Considering road rage incidents and more, that can sound shocking to US natives. David clearly felt that the traffic in the Philippines was intense and overwhelming — perhaps even more so because he could not hear any of it.
Fortunately, he is with Sheila
“I feel peace,” he later signed to the cameras to describe how it felt to sit there with the woman he loves.
Then, ordering at a restaurant
They use their phones to communicate — for the most part. There are a few signs and other nonverbal cues that help them out. The restaurant looks … unfit to serve customers, but David has to trust Sheila. He’s being polite. Also? He’s hungry.
Oh no!
To the handsome restaurant employee’s embarrassment, the (locked) door to the bathroom jams. So when David has to urinate, he has to go outside and relieve himself in the darkness. Not ideal. They get their food to go and take it to the rental.
Sheila helps them check in
David has the documents and he is the one who rented the room, but Sheila facilitates communication. Meanwhile, seeing the place, David feels that perhaps there was some false advertising. They kill a fairly large bug after getting into the room.
Whoops!
You know the romantic trope of two coworkers or friends “having” to share a bed because of a hotel mix-up? This was the opposite. There are two separate beds. Is their first night together doomed before it begins?
Nope!
Sheila immediately suggests that they push the beds together. David takes charge of doing that. It’s not ideal and he shouldn’t have to do it, but it works.
First, they eat
Sheila reveals that David chews loudly. She’s not complaining, and says that it’s cute. But she notices. David, of course, might have no idea. He is deaf and has always been deaf. (I have heard horror stories from deaf people who did not know that passing gas could make noise until they were teens or adults)
Bed time!
Daivd and Sheila go to bed together for the first time. Hooray!
Gino Palazzolo and Jasmine Pineda
Getting a wheat beer at a bar in Panama City, Gino shares his woes with the bartender. She explains to him that prenups, though relatively common among younger generations of Millennials, are very rare in Panama. That could be why Jasmine seems to misunderstand the document’s purpose.
Meanwhile …
Jasmine goes to dinner with her younger sister, Liz. She recalls how this mess with Gino has reminded her of how things ended with her ex-husband. He left her with nothing, and she worries about history repeating itself.
“I could end up in the streets”
Again, Jasmine seems to think that a prenup is a “ha ha no money for you” document. In reality, any legitimate prenup (which her attorney and Gino’s would both read and sign off on) would guarantee that Jasmine does NOT end up with nothing. If you don’t have a prenup, then you’re settling for the divorce and property laws of wherever you happen to live.
“I would personally leave Gino”
Liz seems to be fulfilling the Common Sense Sibling trope that we’ve seen on this franchise. She is calm, reasonable, and rational. Which puts her in stark contrast with her sister. And with her sister’s on-again, off-again fiance.
“I always mistreat him”
Showing some self-awareness, Jasmine explains that she misses Gino, she liked him as her “protector,” and she worries that she overdid it and has driven him away.
Meme fodder?
Liz’s suggestion that Jasmine “drink some water and try to calm down” has huge “why don’t you eat some bread and maybe you’ll calm down energy.” We don’t really think of Liz as having much in common with any of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but she’s a welcome part of this show’s cast.
Liz can’t control Jasmine, however
We next see them as Jasmine announces that she is going to meet up with Gino. The man whom she so recently dumped because he wanted a prenup.
Awkward
The two meet up at a restaurant to potentially reconcile. And Gino makes the first move.
Forget the prenup
Despite the urgings of his family and, you know, common sense, Gino caves. How about if they drop the prenup idea altogether, since it upsets Jasmine so much. And since it’s not normally part of the culture in Panama.
They kiss
The engagement seems to be back on. No word yet on whether Gino will re-propose.
GIRL
Jasmine tells the camera that she was prepared to cave on the prenup and sign it just to get Gino back. Now, she says, she’s happy that she let him go first.
“Would you consider having a will”
Jasmine brings up the idea of Gino, whom she plans to marry in just a few months, drawing up a will. In case he dies before they marry, it seems?
SERIOUSLY?
Gino asks if she’s being serious. She wants him to make sure that she’s okay even if something happens. Gino counters that she’ll be around his family if some tragedy strikes. And Jasmine replies that his family doesn’t like her (true) so she’s worried about being totally alone without support in Michigan after moving to be with him. What a mess.
Riley Attaway and Violet
In Vietnam, Riley is actually a little annoyed. His hotel room is nice (stark contrast with David in the Philippines), but Violet hasn’t even worked him into her schedule for the day. She has other plans.
He chats with his friend, TIffanie
Riley shares his concerns about Violet seemingly not even planning for his visit. We don’t know what her other plans were, but … he just flew an extremely long way to see her. It hurts. Meanwhile, his friend reminds him to not be too distracted by the beauty or the booty to stand up for himself.
Good news!
Violet calls and asks if he’s free that afternoon. Given that he traveled there to see her, he’s free literally every afternoon. So that’s a win!
Violet wants to show him her history
Now, this is a bit awkward. It’s a little like taking a British person to an Independence Day celebration … in like 1810. Because the US was not exactly an uninvolved third party in the Vietnam Civil War. Many Vietnamese people fled when Saigon fell, but Violet is very proud of her nation’s history and eager to show Riley.
“Of course, I want a relationship”
Violet tells the camera that she freed time in her schedule specifically to spend time with Riley, on the grounds that he traveled all this way to see her. So she had the right idea, it just came to her a little late.
All’s well that ends well?
Violet and Riley end their history walkthrough in laughter. Also, with a lot of sweat. Vietnam is hot and humid, and Riley is from the American Northeast.
Tyray Mollett and “Carmella”
Meeting up with his sister, Lashanti, the two buy some lemonade and sit down to chat. Tyray tells her that he has been thinking. What he really means is that he has been brainstorming hypothetical and outlandish scenarios by which “Carmella” would be a real person who has recently lost control of her phone. It’s denial.
Oh no!
Lashanti is alarmed to hear her brother trying to convince himself that these four years of love were all a lie. Her hope is that she can shake him out of this, because he is delaying heartbreak and drawing this out.
Lashanti has done some research
Remember how the initial reverse image search turned up nothing? Well she found the model of Carmella’s pics on an escort page. The woman in question (whose name we do not know) is an American, and travels to difference cities.
This hurts Tyray
Unfortunately, it hits him for the wrong reasons. But he immediately begins to tear up at this news, and has to go on a short walk to clear his eyes.
Eff this phone
Tyray is blaming his phone for this, somehow. Tossing it into the grass, he blames the device for this four-year deception and for his current humiliation. Poor guy.
Tyray has a new theory
He thinks that “Carmella” is real, but lied to him about being in Barbados when she could have come to visit him. One of the cities that the actual model and escort has been to is only 30 minutes away. So he feels hurt. And he’s totally missing the point. This woman, the escort, has never spoken to him — a man in Barbados did. But Tyray isn’t read to accept that, yet.
Tyray tries to call her
It doesn’t work. Lashanti is clearly at a loss for how to snap Tyray out of this. But perhaps, perhaps, hearing from this woman will help Tyray process that there’s no secret boyfriend or sabotaging husband or anything else. Just a catfishing con that spun out of control.