It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
That's something your alcoholic friend might say when he's looking to pound some tequila shots on his lunch break.
But even that maniac would probably look down his nose at this ... the sort of person who gets passed-out drunk before most folks are even out of work - on a weekday, no less!
Nathan Griffith, on the other hand has no qualms about getting absolutely sh-thoused on a random Thursday while the sun's still out.
As we reported earlier today, Griffith was arrested on DUI charges last night.
Now we know the details of his latest brush with the law, and frankly - while the jokes may seem funny - we're a little worried for the guy at this point.
Also, see what Jenelle Evans has to say about her baby daddy's situation.
Take a look:
Not on His Best Behavior
Griffith was booked and held on $10,000 bond after being arrested on DUI charges near his home in North Carolina yesterday.
A Very Bad Habit
Troublingly, this was not Griffith's first DWI. In fact, it's not his second, either. The 32-year-old been arrested for the offense on at least THREE prior occasions.
The Bright Side
Thankfully, Nathan Griffith hasn't killed anyone with his reckless behavior. But that's not the only threshold for dangerous behavior that threatens the public, and as such, it certainly doesn't mean he'll walk away from this latest situation consequence-free.
Kaiser In the Middle
Not only is Nathan facing jail time, he's set to square off against Teen Mom 2 terror Jenelle Evans in a battle for custody of his son, Kaiser. Needless to say, this brush with the law won't improve his chances of winning.
A Rare Victory
Jenelle hasn't done a whole lot of winning lately (or ever, if you think about it), but Nathan's bender just made it much more likely that she'll be granted full custody of Kaiser - especially once the judge finds out the details of Griffith's latest arrest.
This Freakin' Guy
“He was found unconscious in the parking lot of grocery store Harris Teeter,” Cady, N.C. police sergeant Mike Ring tells Radar Online, referencing the local grocery store chain.
Can't Make This Stuff Up
“His car was running. The fire department notified us when they realized it wasn’t medical, it was impairment," the officer told the celebrity gossip site, describing the unusual situation.
Nate the Not-So-Great
Police say Griffith refused a breathalyzer test (probably not a bad idea), but the results speak for themselves. He failed several field sobriety tests, including horizontal gaze nystagmus, walk and turn, and one-leg stand. If he was out cold, that's hardly a surprise.
No Doubt About It
“He was impaired,” the officer said, stating what must have been plainly obvious for a number of reasons. “Empty alcohol containers were found in the car. No drugs were found at the scene.”
Radar Online has obtained a 911 call pertaining to the incident. The recording captured here reveals the conversation that took place between a 911 dispatcher and the firefighters who first arrived on the scene.
A Job For the Cops
“Send a P.D. unit out here in reference to a possible intoxicated subject,” a Wake County Fire official, among the first responders on the scene, says.
Having a Snooze
“He’s sleeping inside the car. We made contact with him. He doesn’t want to talk to us," the firefighter continues. We don't imagine he felt like talking to anyone at that moment. We would laugh if it weren't so inherently sad.
Not Exactly Hiding It
“He does have some alcohol open in the vehicle. Doesn’t appear to have any complaints, just a subject intoxicated," the official continued, noting that no drugs were found in the car.
The Early Bird
There's a lot to unpack here, to say the least, but one of the most interesting details is the timing of the arrest: Nate was found unconscious at 5:23 p.m. He was taken into custody at 5:56 p.m.
Yeah, this wasn't a case of the guy going out with friends after work and having one too many, then making bad decisions at the end of the night. Dude was sh-tfaced in the middle of the day and passed out in a grocery store parking lot at 5 in the afternoon.
On a Serious Note
It's easy to laugh at Nate (and that's what much of the Internet has been doing since this story first broke), but the guy is clearly grappling with a pretty serious drinking problem.
A police spokesperson confirmed in the wake of the arrest that Nathan has been released on bond. He is believed to be living with his mother, who was a central figure in his custody case earlier this year.
Nathan's arrest couldn't have come at a better time for Jenelle, whose attorneys will no doubt use it against him in court. A race to the bottom still has a winner, as they say. (NOTE: No one actually says that, but it sort of works.)
Mom of the Year
Kaiser was placed with Nathan when he was removed from Jenelle's home earlier this year following a CPS investigation, and the little guy seemed to have a great couple of weeks, with Nathan stepping up to the plate more than we've seen in the past.
But that was just a temporary arrangement, and Evans retained joint custody of the boy. A permanent situation is set to be hammered out in court next month, and again, this cannot be good for Nate's prospects.
A Gift From the Custody Gods
Having just gotten her kids taken away in May following a series of bizarre incidents, and the fact that she is living with and married to friggin' David Eason (in general), Jenelle really didn't have a leg to stand on before this.
But now, Nathan has shown himself to be a habitual drunk driver, a tendency that family court judges tend to not look kindly on - even in comparison to some of the Easons' eyebrow-raising antics on The Land.
There's a very good chance that Kaiser is not safe living with Jenelle and David. You can point to one of 100 reasons why that's the case. But he's DEFINITELY not safe living with someone who frequently drives drunk.
Nathan's last, best chance at this point is to own up to his mistake, frame it as a problem and an addiction, and enter rehab and get sober before his court date.
Too Little, Too Late
But even in that case, the judge will likely decide that removing a child from his mother is hard enough anyway, and it's just not safe for a young child to live with a parent who engaged in such reckless behavior so recently.
UPDATE: Jenelle Responds!
We think. She doesn't mention Nate by name, but Jenelle makes this much clear: She's not a bitch, she's changed, and no comment. Good to know. That'll have to do for now. David Eason has managed to stay silent on his arch-nemesis' arrest … so far.