Jenelle Evans is known for a lot of things: getting arrested, doing drugs, having children that she doesn't take care of.
But one of the big ones, one of the most iconic Jenelle traits, is her complete inability to be single for one single second.
Because of this unfortunate trait, she's been in terrible relationship after terrible relationship for years now, and it doesn't look like she'll be breaking this cycle anytime soon.
Like, whenever she and David Eason get divorced, she'll be onto the next before we know it.
And looking at all the things that have happened in the past week or so, it looks like that divorce is coming sooner rather than later ...
Not a Great Sign
Last week, David hopped on Facebook and changed his relationship status to "It's Complicated," and shortly after that, he deleted his account altogether. This is not what you want to see with a happy marriage.
Yeah, it's just a dumb Facebook thing, but kids these days take that stuff seriously. For David to change his relationship status from "married" to "it's complicated" means that something went down between them, something big enough for him to threaten a breakup.
Oh, Kieffer ...
There's a very good chance that that something that went down had to do with Kieffer Delp, Jenelle's first true love. After all, last Monday was when The Ex Files aired, the Teen Mom special that featured all of her ex-boyfriends. David seems jealous enough as it is, so to watch a parade of guys from his wife's past and to hear her speak kind of fondly about good ol' Kieffer may not have gone over well.
Reasons for Rage
David could have also gotten upset about Courtland Rogers' remarks. Courtland was Jenelle's first husband, and he's been pretty open about how he still has some feelings for her, despite the whirlwind of heroin and abortions that ripped them apart all those years ago.
Remember the stories of David being in jail with Courtland, and how Courtland told him about Jenelle? Maybe seeing his old buddy talking about his new wife set something off in him.
Another interesting thing that happened was that Jenelle removed her relationship information on Facebook entirely. She also changed her profile picture from one that featured David to one of her by herself.
In an interview with Radar Online, she said "Everyone is freaking out David deleted his Facebook page last night while I was sleeping. He deleted his account altogether. He told me when I woke up lol." Lol, indeed.
About the "it's complicated" scandal, Jenelle said that Facebook relationship info "doesn't define one's relationship ... hate to tell ya."
She also claimed that she deleted her relationship info altogether and changed her profile picture because she wanted to start using her Facebook page to focus on her makeup and clothing companies. It just coincidetnally happened right when the David thing did.
Is any of this making sense? No? Well, hold on, because Jenelle is about to take us to the next level with this mess.
In order to ... defend herself? Share her side of the story? We're not sure what her exact plan here was, but after the story began making the rounds, Jenelle had this text message exchange with a reporter from Radar Online. She shared the exchange, instructing the reporter "Don’t be a bitch. Don’t EVERRRRRRRRRR text me again. Don’t contact me again. F-cking drama."
But as you can see, the reporter wasn't being "a bitch" at all. She asked Jenelle if David changed his relationship status because he was mad at her, and she replied "Idk, idc... only you guys care. Like I said this is why he deleted his account cuz of media BS."
"If I have sex with my husband, it's my business," she continued. "If I go skydiving with my husband, it's my business. If I want to sh-t on my husband's hand, it's all my business."
... Come Again?
It's unclear if she thinks sh-tting on the hand of one's husband is normal or an expression that people use or if she just revealed a pretty out-there kink, but she trucked right along, telling the reporter "I'd appreciate if you stop assuming sh-t and texting me about something ridiculous. Make an article if you see one of us file divorce papers."
It's just all so odd because sure, it's a dumb thing to be talking about, but if David did change his relationship status on Facebook, that means something. He didn't do it for fun, you know? Jenelle can try to distract us with all this defacation talk, but that doesn't change the fact that all is obviously not well down in the swamp.
The Plot Thickens!
Speaking of Jenelle's swamp, here's another interesting development that happened recently: on November 30th, she bought a new piece of land!
Did she buy the land so that she could expand her swamp empire? Is she going to build another house there where David can live when he makes punk moves on social media? Or would that house be for her kids, a place where they could hang out where she wouldn't have to parent them?
Unfortunately, it looks like she isn't kicking him down the holler, or at least not right now -- the land is near her home, and David's name is on the deed, too.
Of course, there's always the possibility that the land will serve as a home for Jenelle's true soulmate, Kieffer. It doesn't really make sense, but hey, Kieffer was on TV last week for the first time in years, are we really going to pass up any opportunity to talk about him?