Farrah Abraham's parenting leaves much to be desired.
Like many aspects of her bizarre life, the only consistent factor in how Abraham raises Sophia is wild inconsistency and erratic behavior.
We don't even know where to begin ... actually we do.
Right at the genesis of Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant. It was all downhill from there, and it continues to get worse here in the mid-2010s.
Just when you'd think Farrah would be settling into a more mature period in her life, Sophia is growing up, and the exploitation is insane.
Here are many times she failed to bring her A-game.
1.
When They Visited Derek's Grave (All Those Times)
Farrah Abraham frequently took Sophia to visit the grave of Derek Underwood, Sophia's father, at a very young age. This is nice on the surface, but critics say she has too frequently milked it for attention and continues to paper over facts surrounding her late boyfriend, who was killed in a car crash ... after they had broken up.
2.
When She Gave Sophia Insane Cash From the Tooth Fairy
Loosing [sic] your teeth should be special, I like to add passion and something special to everything ... These years are flying bye [sic] and soon $600 won’t be surprising to my daughter and the tooth fairy will just be imaginary and made up. So $600 for one tooth is a great addition to her college fund and let’s [SIC] her have a big surprise. You’re only a kid once! - On giving her six-year-old $600 for a lost tooth
These years are flying bye, indeed.
1. Sophia is six. 2. Pot, meet kettle.
4.
When She Let Her Join Snapchat
For real. Again, the girl is seven, not seventeen.
5.
When She Said This About Herself
No matter what I've been doing, I've been doing the best in it that we know of. What I'm saying by that is, if I'm developing novelty toys, I'm winning awards. If I'm writing books, I'm a New York Times bestseller … how do I do it all? I don't know.
A little humility never hurt. Just saying.
6.
When She Said Sophia Can Fire Employees
We're all about delegating in business, but that's taking it a little far. No humility.
7.
When This Happened at Sophia's Birthday
Seriously. Nice sentiment, but do you really need a live lion cub to celebrate your toddler's birthday?
8.
When She Decided to Homeschool Sophia
It's not that we're anti-homeschool in general, but the fact that Farrah Abraham can do it kind of makes us want to call in a CPS SWAT team to swoop in and hogtie the porn star-turned-stripper-turned-teacher STAT.
9.
When 'Sophia' Made the 'Decision' to Wear This to School
Controversy regarding Sophia's "decision" to wear makeup at school arose during the most recent season of Teen Mom, with Farrah later defending herself - sorry, her daughter - with a Twitter post reading, “Don't hate on #Hair #Makeup @MTV So cute.” Words fail us.
10.
When She Paraded Sophia Around Fashion Week
It might have been harmless, but ... in the context of everything else?
11.
When She Called Her Child a Stupid Heathen
Because that was a thing that happened.
12.
When She Said Sophia Does Her Own Thing
[On daughter Sophia] I have my own life and [I'm] doing [my] own thing. She has her own life and she does her own thing.
Seriously. This is an actual quote.
13.
When She Busted Out the Coconut Bra
A little young, no?
14.
When She Threw Soph a Sponsored 7th Birthday Party
Seriously. We know she's a single mom out there hustling, but isn't there a line to be drawn somewhere?
15.
When Farrah, Er, Sophia Launched Her Own Boutique
Again, is nothing sacred?!
Literally. This speaks volumes of the kind of enviornment she ... never mind.
17.
When She Said Sophia Can Read Her 'Celebrity Sex Tape' Novels
“If she wants to read it ... I might blush a little, but I wouldn’t stop her,” Farrah says. “Eventually, she will have to find out that Mommy is a sexual person."
18.
When She, You Know, Filmed This
Backdoor Teen Mom. Need we say more?
19.
When She Had Sophia Model Bikinis ...
Yes, Child Model magazine is apparently a thing that exists. Troubling as that is, we can't say we're surprised that Farrah was ALL OVER the chance to have Sophia model for it - and brag about it on social media, obviously. Sigh.
20.
... or Cheerleading Attire ...
Not the worst thing in the world, but in the context of everything else she does ...
21.
... or When She Allowed This
Farrah's desire to make Sophia into a mini-version of herself knows no boundaries.
22.
When She Said She'd Talk Sex Tapes With Soph ...
"I want to keep it real with her," she said of the moment she is asked about her porno (sorry, leaked sex tape). "Like, a friend. Like, if you wanted to talk and you asked me in-depth details, I would be more than open, you know. "
23.
... or When She Said Sophia Making Her Own Would Be Cool
“I’m gonna just say make sure you know what you’re doing with it,” she added. “You know, I’ll be like, ‘This is what happened to me as your Mom.’ It’s like Mommy talk.” Wow. Just wow.
Seriously? Not gonna step in and put the kibosh on this at all?
25.
When She Doled Out This Advice
I don't really pay attention to much online. Listen, I was, like, the most popular girl growing up and I had women do the same thing to me then as now. And I overcame it.
Yes, overcoming adversity is good ... but we feel like this message misses some key points as well.
That lifejacket's not gonna do much. And the dancing certainly isn't helping the safety situation here.
27.
When She Gave Sophia Weight Loss Tea
Okay, she denies that Sophia actually drank any of it ... but it's no surprise after everything else on this list that fans were quick to point the finger at Farrah.
28.
When She Put Sophia in a Chamber
Don't believe this caption. Sophia is not in a new crib. Her mother, Farrah Abraham, has instead placed her inside of some weird chamber at the spa that burns calories.
