90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After Tell All: Colt Johnson Loves to F--k!

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It's Part 2 of the 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 5 Tell All special!

Things start right away with Asuelu and Kalani's ongoing problems -- and conflict with Tammy, who wants to fight everyone.

Colt admits that he's a liar, but still insists that there were some lines that he never crossed.

Vanessa is there, Jess is there, and Larissa is there as he rambles about his love, his regrets, and yells that he "loves to f--k."

Tania and Syngin are still struggling even though he is now gainfully employed.

Part of the problem is his drinking, thought that doesn't stop Angela from openly flirting with him through the camera.

Finally, Angela and MIchael discuss their sex life ... until Aunt Lydia makes Angela so angry that she sends her camera spinning.

1. Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa

Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa
A tearful Asuelu tells his mother, Lesina, that he wishes that she had not said the things that she said to Kalani. It wasn't just that she was rude and hurtful to his wife, though that was part of it. She said that she didn't care about his children. She said that she wanted him to divorce Kalani.

2. Tammy calls him out

Tammy calls him out
Asuelu's sister Tammy tells him that he has no right to ... ask his mother to be nice. Tammy loves telling other people what to do but finds anyone else speaking up to be out of bounds.

3. Angela and Debbie chime in

Angela and Debbie chime in
The planets aligned and I agree with Angela and Debbie as they back up Kalani and Asuelu against Tammy. Tammy then threatens to fight them both. Debbie is amused by this because of the absurdity. Angela is fully prepared to absolutely demolish Tammy if the need arises.

4. Tammy threatens Kolini

Tammy threatens Kolini
Kalani's sister-in-law threatens Asuelu's sister-in-law with violence. This is so strange. Tammy has some real issues to work through.

5. Even her mom thinks that it goes too far

Even her mom thinks that it goes too far
Lesina calls out Tammy and gets her to back down for a while.

6. But how is the marriage?

But how is the marriage?
Kalani admits that they have a lot to work on, saying that she continues to feel the way that everyone has felt.

7. Everyone chimes in

Everyone chimes in
Even people who are disasters in their own relationships speak up. And while many of the opinions are gentle, nobody is on Asuelu's side, because his side is "I get to do whatever I want and there shouldn't be consequences" and that's just not how it works.

8. Asuelu just got up and left

Asuelu just got up and left
He didn't just get up from the couch, he left the house -- while Kalani teared up and his mother-in-law called him out for not seeming to care about that -- took his key and drove off. Kalani tried to get in touch with him but he blocked her number, which is apparently something that he is known to do. That is wildly toxic and no one should put up with it.

9. Colt Johnson

Colt Johnson
We were both in bad marriages and we just talked about it," Vanessa characterizes her relationship with Colt. "We just got along great."

10. It was an emotional affair

It was an emotional affair
"It wasn't until after Larissa and I's marriage further deteriorated until I started talking with Vanessa," Colt insists. "Once I did, we just connected. She was a great friend. I was telling her what was going on in my life: my s--tty work day, my s--tty marriage. Everything I couldn't talk about with you, Larissa, I was talking with Vanessa."

11. Why did he even date Jess then?

Why did he even date Jess then?
"I love Vanessa," Colt confesses, admitting that he went on to date Jess "because Vanessa said no, and if she said yes, I would have dated her in a second."

12. He offers Jess a non-apology

He offers Jess a non-apology
"I'm sorry you were in a s--tty relationship with me," he offers emptily after Jess has listened to him gush about Vanessa. "It was a summer fling at best." He traveled to Brazil, met her parents, and asked her father for permission to propose to her. That's not what a fling is.

13. He used her

He used her
Jess accurately describes Colt's behavior towards her, including how he used her to be on reality TV because Vanessa could not do that for him.

14. This is not a first for Colt

This is not a first for Colt
Not only was Colt having an emotional affair with Vanessa during his marriage to Larissa, but he also cheated on her. He for some reason denies this as the Tell All. We're not sure what else to call pulling the same "good morning, here's my dick" nude pic trading with multile side pieces that he did with Jess with Larissa, but he was caught doing that in December 2018.

15. Vanessa isn't innocent in all of this

Vanessa isn't innocent in all of this
Jess calls out Vanessa for being complicit in Colt's lies. While that is true, we should stress that Vanessa was going on Colt's version of their relationships and doesn't really owe Jess or Larissa the same consideration that she would a friend of hers.

16. As for Colt's cheating

As for Colt's cheating
Jess repeatedly calls him "weird and disgusting," which seems to be a common bit of feedback that people who aren't Debbie have about Colt.

17. Also?

Colt likes to "make women crazy." Whether Jess means that he's emotionally manipulative and tries to provoke emotional displays for his own amusement, or that she means that he likes to make women believe that his cheating and creepy behavior is all in their imaginations, she's right.

18. Larissa lays into Vanessa

Larissa lays into Vanessa
Colt may have been sending out his dong pics to anyone who wanted one late in their marriage, but the emotional affair with Vanessa really gets under her skin. She felt so much distance and lack of affection from him and that clearly still hurts. (Remember, like Jess, Larissa really loved Colt, which is why the cheating bothered her so much)

19. Colt admits that he's a liar

Colt admits that he's a liar
"After I came back from Brazil, I cheated on Jess with Vanessa. I'm sorry, Jess," Colt says. "I have this tendency to lie to women, to get into relationship with women when I shouldn't. I didn't want to lose Jess even though I should not have been with her at all, but she gave me this identity. I was her boyfriend and I wanted to be her husband, even though I don't think I even loved her...I never wanted to cheat on you or hurt you. I just want to know who I am. I'm 35 years old and I feel like I don't know anything about me."

20. Changing gears ...

Changing gears ...
At one point during the Tell All Part 2, Shaun asks the group if lockdown has changed their sex lives. Larissa's answer triggers an eye-popping answer from Colt.

21. Larissa has been having a great time

Larissa has been having a great time
She and Eric had reconciled before lockdown began, so she says that she's really enjoyed being with Eric -- whose sexual experience makes him better in bed than Colt. He doesn't like hearing that at all.


"I want to say something because you're talking about that I'm inexperienced having sex or that I don't like having sex. Let me tell you, I love to f--k. That's the first thing I want everyone to know," Colt begins to yell into the camera. "Which one is it: Am I f--king too much or not f--king enough?" Everyone is weirded out.

23. Tania Maduro and Syngin Colchester

Tania Maduro and Syngin Colchester
Tania and Syngin are in an awkward place, facing the reality that they are two people who love each other but who aren't really compatible at the moment. That hurts. You know what doesn't hurt? Looking at Syngin. He's always been one of the hotter stars on the show but even Shaun Robinson comments on how he's giving off Fabio vibes.

24. He's not having a good time

He's not having a good time
Syngin complains about coming back from summer in South Africa to winter in Connecticut, where he says that they have "9 months of winter." First of all, some of us would literally kill for nine glorious months of weather, but that's neither here nor there, because the weather is not Syngin's real problem.

25. He DOES have a job!

He DOES have a job!
A number of men on the show have struggled to find employment (to be fair, our economy is an absolute nightmare), but Syngin is working as a server -- that is, he is waiting tables.

26. Angela is T H I R S T Y

Angela is T H I R S T Y
Angela echoes the sentiment held by many viewers by exclaiming that she would tip Syngin $20 -- a nice tip for just one person eating. We can simultaneously enjoy this moment and acknowledge that if Michael had said something like this to Tania, Angela would have begun screaming and cursing.

27. Syngin enjoys the attention

Syngin enjoys the attention
There's only so much that can be said about Syngin without coming across as Horny On Main, but a lot of viewers understand why Tania met him on vacation and decided to play for keeps.

28. However ...

However ...
Syngin jokes that his other primary occupation is "working" on Tania's nerves.

29. Awkward

There is a lot of awkward, nervous tension between the two of them. Tania and Syngin have a lot of love for each other and a lot of fun.

30. But there are real issues

But there are real issues
For one thing, Syngin says, they have "miscommunication." He acknowledges that they often do not see eye to eye, particularly when it comes to the future. THEIR future.

31. And, of course, the drinking

And, of course, the drinking
Syngin proclaims that he has no intention of giving up drinking, ever, which is a huge red flag. Like ... not planning on quitting alcohol entirely is fine. Declaring that it's causing problems in your marriage but you still won't give it up is another. Syngin also blames it on South African culture normalizing drinking. That's probably true ... but that also doesn't mean squat when it's creating a problem in your marriage.

32. His ex-roommates think that it's fine

His ex-roommates think that it's fine
Syngin's pair of Extreme Sitcom Vibes former roommates say that they don't think that he has an alcohol problem because he is gainfully employed. Um ... what?

33. Tania notes that this HAS caused employment problems

Tania notes that this HAS caused employment problems
His server job is new, she emphasizes, and he also struggled to get his work visa because he had previously gotten drunk at work (in South Africa), and so was initially turned down for a work visa based upon that. Syngin is very dismissive of that.

34. Even Debbie has some sage commentary

Even Debbie has some sage commentary
She notes that she knows "many" functioning alcoholics who go to work without issue but absolutely have drinking problems. Syngin doesn't seem to want to hear it which, again, is a red flag.

35. The future is uncertain

The future is uncertain
They admit that they may give this another year to see if their marriage will last. Syngin openly admits that they probably would have broken up by now if they weren't married. Yikes, folks.

36. Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi

Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi
Angela raves about Michael and how much she loves and misses him, noting that Michael will send her horny messages, enjoys looking at her butt, and will do "strip teases" for her at times.

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90 Day Fiance, Reality TV, TV Recaps
Kalani Faagata, Colt Johnson, Larissa Lima, Angela Deem
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