90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 6, Episode 4 had a lot of tears.
Kalani cried, speaking to her sister about her situation with Asuelu.
When she spoke to Asuelu later, things were so much worse.
Angela had her surgery … but not before lying to her surgeons about following the non-smoking guidelines.
Julia meets up with a wedding planner, eager to launch her new career and move away from the farm.
But a conversation with Brandon takes a toxic turn as her weird jealousy issues make her lash out.
Andrei has his first day of work for Chuck, but he is already clashing with basically everyone.
Yara and Jovi are still getting accustomed to being new parents, but Jovi knows that their lives will soon change (again).
Natalie drives home for an awkward reunion with Mike after their fight at Mike’s birthday dinner.
And Tiffany and Ronald have a painful conversation, while Daniel just wishes that Ronald were there with them already.
Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa
Kalani cites the realities of being a mother of two and how furniture shopping is what excites her at this stage in her life. She also shares that this isn’t really Asuelu’s forte, so she’s taking Kolini with her. Whether this is real or just a gimmick to give them a different setting to film … it doesn’t matter. Everybody loves Kolini, and furniture stores are as good a place as any for a conversation.
Kalani has some opinions
Before they settle in for a difficult, painful conversation, Kalani shares some amusing observations about sanitation for padded headboards, and also accidentally collapses a bench. Whoops!
Kalani gets serious
She feels like there are lots of fights but no real passion anymore. Kalani doesn’t feel affection from Asuelu. She also notes that “to control the mess,” Asuelu has his own bedroom where he plays games and where he sleeps most of the time.
Wait, what?
You know how sometimes, things seem normal to you until you say them out loud to another person who is like “NO, that’s not okay!!” Well, that’s what happened here.
Kalani feels like “roommates with benefits”
Apparently, Asuelu only comes to her room for occasional sex, but that’s it. (Note: obviously, plenty of marriages work just fine or even better than before with multiple bedrooms! Snoring, temperature preferences, different schedules … there are tons of good reasons for that. But Asuelu and Kalani have other problems, and this is making it worse)
It’s so hard
Kalani feels miserable. On the one hand, she knows that Asuelu wasn’t raised to understand about the need for affection and love and mutual respect, so she wants to nurture him. On the other hand, she already has two children to nurture and this is making her miserable. Is Asuelu really willing to change? Right now, he assumes that divorce isn’t a real thing, because he was raised like Kalani’s dad was raised to think that marriage is for life.
Kalani has to say something
While Asuelu folds his (excellent!) shirt collection, Kalani brings up the courage to talk to her husband about her feelings, knowing that the littlest thing can sometimes set him off. Note: if this is how you feel, you can skip this step and just file for divorce.
At first, she just talks about spicing up their sex life
Right now, they only sleep together every now and then, and this seems like an easy way to start the conversation. Kalani suggests roleplay, which she has to explain to Asuelu. (Okay, has Asuelu not seen porn? That feels like the easier way to explain it)
Asuelu immediately has ideas
He asks if Kalani means, like, if she dressed as Wonder Woman and he were The Incredible Hulk. (You know I wrote out a nerdy response weighing this as a roleplay option but you know what? I have just enough self-control to not make you wade through it. Anyway, Asuelu would make a great Hulk)
But as Kalani keeps talking about their relationship
She brings up how she’d like more affection from him, he mentions that he brings her food, Kalani notes that it’s sweet of him but notes that her brother also brings her food, and Asuelu is — as she had feared — instantly angry.
To Asuelu, what he’s doing is enough
Hey, bringing someone food is a sweet way of showing that you love them. BUT that in and of itself is not enough for a spouse to display affection to another spouse. Asuelu does not like hearing this.
This is so hard for Kalani
She silently cries as yet another attempt to speak to her husband blows up in her face.
That makes Asuelu mad, too
He thinks that it’s “annoying” when she cries because he doesn’t think that his rudeness and hostility is enough for someone to cry.
Misery
Kalani is stewing in misery and there’s no sign that anything is going to change for the better any time soon.
Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi
It’s time for her major surgery! She’s getting a breast reduction, a gastric band, some liposuction … but she didn’t quite follow all of the rules before her surgery.
Her surgeons come in
Angela is nervous, as she accepts the reality of all that could go wrong as she spends several hours unconscious for major surgery.
She also just … lies
Angela lies to her surgeons about having smoked that morning, because she was not supposed to. She smoked on camera, knowing that the cigarette could slow healing or make infections easier to get. It was very foolish.
Angela’s handsome doctor speaks
He notes that Angela has been trying to make her husband accept this, and he wants to reassure Michael, too.
He is happy to answer Michael’s questions
Honestly? Framing all of this in a way that will reassure Michael is doing a favor for Angela, too.
“The breasts, the breasts”
Michael is asked what his favorite part of Angela’s body is, and is assured that Angela’s breasts will still be intense after her surgery — just less of a physical, painful burden.
Angela gets marked up for surgery
She speaks about wanting to preserve some tattoos on her body if possible. That’s a fair concern for anyone going under the knife, especially for non-emergency surgeries.
On the operating table, Angela is … Angela
People don’t magically change when they’re going under or when they’re drunk, but they do become more of themselves without a filter. Angela didn’t have much of a filter to begin with, so she is complaining … a lot.
She doesn’t like the mask
This isn’t unheard of for patients undergoing surgery, and most medical professionals don’t take it personally, but it’s a pain when someone struggles against medical equipment like a baby, you know?
Surgery begins
The cameras were actually allowed inside the operating theater, though presumably just one camera person and not the entire production team.
Jojo keeps Michael updated
Michael really appreciates it, since he cannot be there in person to wait on his wife’s procedure.
Angela will now have, roughly, DD breasts
The surgeon takes out about one pound of tissue from each breast in order to reduce the size, but they will still be more than ample. However, post-op, Angela seems reluctant to open her eyes on command. (Folks, she’s fine, this happened months ago and she’s done a series of interviews since then)
Brandon Gibbs and Julia Trubkina
Still living on the farm, Julia gets her marching orders from Betty. It sucks.
Nothing has really changed since the wedding
Yes, Julia revealed at the Tell All that she didn’t have to feed the animals — but explained that if she didn’t, Brandon had to, in addition to his full-time job, so it was the only way for them to have time together. That’s still a miserable scenario.
Julia didn’t sign up for 90 Day Farmhand
She came here to be Brandon’s wife. She wants to work, but this isn’t a job — it’s a list of chores for someone else’s life.
But there’s good news
Julia is serious about her desire to be a wedding planner, despite Brandon’s discouragement, and a planner named Christine has agreed to speak with her. (This must be extra tricky — because she had to find a wedding planner willing to meet with her AND willing to go on camera for it, which is going to skew her results)
Meet Christine!
She tells Julia that she can do this, but she has a long road ahead. (Yes, there were some awkward moments in this chat) She also tells Julia that a huge part of her job involves networking, because she knows the Richmond area and has a relationship with many businesses relevant to weddings.
Back home, things take a turn
Julia talks to Brandon … expressing her unhappiness but for some reason noting that he’s playing an unseen video game. Weird thing to complain about. Like, he finished work, of course he’s consuming a piece of media.
Julia lists the many animal duties she had that day
It sounds exhausting and miserable but Brandon is so numb to it because his parents are the way that they are. One day, when Brandon and Julia have their own place, Brandon will probably go “oh, so THIS is what happiness feels like!” but it will take years of therapy to undo the damage that his parents’ attitudes have inflicted.
Brandon erroneously compares Julia’s chores to his job
No, Brandon. Brandon has a specific job (pest control technician) and is paid for it. Julia does farm labor, unpaid, at the direction of her mother-in-law.
They need to move out sooner rather than later
Now, it’s not just about Julia’s farmwork nightmare — it’s about putting down roots and making social connections in and around Richmond so that she can get into wedding planning.
Does Brandon really understand?
He suggests that if she wants to “meet people” for “networking,” he could start by hanging out with his friends, and suggests that they go hang out with Melanie.
Who’s Melanie?
Melanie is just one of Brandon’s friends. However, we see Julia playfully interrogate Brandon about her in their interview with the cameras. Obviously, this interview came later. At the moment, in Brandon’s bedroom, Julia’s bizarre jealousy issues and weird internalized misogyny rear their ugly heads.
DERANGED
Julia starts by insisting that a man and woman being friends cannot work. This isn’t just totally out of touch with reality, it also has obvious implications about friendships and sexuality and gender.
Julia has a real problem with women
She claims that girls are “sneaky” and “foxy” and apparently are just chomping at the bit to Take Care Animals in her place.
There’s one silver lining
Julia emphasizes that it’s not a lack of trust towards Brandon (although … unless she’s worried that Brandon’s friends who are women are preparing to assault him, that should be the end of the discussion, right? No amount of alleged “foxiness” is going to trick Brandon into cheating)
Julia this is not okay
If Julia were framing this as “I had a bad experience with an ex who cheated with a girl he said was like a sister to him,” then we’d be like “oh no, go to therapy about this.” Instead, she’s just declaring this as a universal rule about relationships and friendships.
Julia wants them to have friends as a couple
That’s great, but it seems like she wants Brandon to cut off his past friendships instead of making them her friends, too, which is just a toxic demand to make.
She also worries about being left out
Julia doesn’t want to hear about Brandon’s past — not just his sexual history, but apparently she doesn’t want to hear about anything from before they met. This jealous side of her is unhinged.
Elizabeth Potthast and Andrei Castravet
Andrei prepares for his first day on the job at the Potthast family business, with some adorable exchanges with Libby and their daughter.
He picks up Chuck
Most people would be polite or even conciliatory with their boss, father in law or not. For some reason, Andrei’s approach in these situations is always negging. Maybe it’s cultural or maybe he’s just super insecure.
They’re looking to flip a house
Andrei is dismayed by how a house that they look at appears to have gone through the wringer, and it’s explained that this is normal for the houses that they buy. You don’t flip a house that’s already perfect. The goal is to go room by room and make note of things that need to be changed to the house to increase its value for resale.
Becky arrives
If this was planned by the Potthasts for drama, they did a great job, because Becky shows up, accusing Chuck of not telling her about this, and feels like Andrei is already trying to push her out of the business on her first day.
Becky is the listing agent
Her job is to be the realtor for the house and sell it — not Andrei, no matter what he may think.
Andrei gets defensive
Sometimes, one Potthast or another is toxic and weird in a way that could make someone legitimately unhappy. In this case, though, Andrei views Becky’s beef with her dad forgetting to tell her about this house as a personal attack against him, and goes off about his big plans for success.
AND BY THE WAY
Andrei tells Charlie that he’s not now and will never work for him, only for Chuck.
Chuck says that this was his goof
He desperately wants for this to work — for Libby’s sake. So he takes responsibility for today’s confusion (Becky only found out because Elizabeth told her), promises to do better, and says that Andrei won’t cut into anyone’s profits — except for his own, when the house is sold.
Jovi Dufren and Yara Zaya
This episode has a little less content for this fan-favorite couple, but they are affectionately clashing when it comes to childcare. It’s mostly just Yara being anxious about anyone but her holding their baby … but that’s normal for a new mother, especially one who has had a miscarriage in the past. (Also, real talk, I’m basically like this when I babysit DOGS so I can only imagine how many nurturing instincts are kicking in for Yara right now)
Awww
Mylah cries a little while Jovi holds her so Yara takes her back. Jovi tries to get Yara to relax and allow herself to take breaks, but Yara notes that when Jovi works again, she won’t have him there to help.
And that’s where this is headed
Yara is already dreading Jovi’s return to work because having a newborn is a lot, and also because he’s her husband and she loves him. This is their new life and they’re still learning about each other, but it’s also a huge adjustment from their fancy, world-traveling life that they shared before becoming parents. That’s how becoming parents works.
Mike Youngquist and Natalie Mordovtseva
Natalie is at the hotel in Seattle, leaving the next morning to drive home to Sequim. At Mike’s birthday dinner, she spoiled the mood when she brought up a woman who allegedly sent pictures of her boobs to Mike some time in the past.
Natalie feels that she said nothing wrong
She wants an apology from Mike, because she said what was on her mind.
A few hours of driving later …
Natalie and Mike awkwardly greet each other like they’re high school sweethearts who just had a fight and not like two 34-year-old adults who have been married for 6 years.
Oh this was so uncomfortable
Mike had driven home without Natalie (Mike has been the bad guy in multiple interactions with Natalie but there’s no shame in removing yourself from a toxic situation), and they’ve both had all night to think about this.
Mike explains his side
To the camera, he laments how Natalie brings up things “from the past” and ruins moments for them, seemingly for no reason. (This is complicated — since we don’t know how far in the past the Nevada Boob Girl stuff was, and because at times, Mike’s unwillingness to discuss certain topics means that Natalie HAS to bring it up or they’ll never talk it through)
Natalie has to be the bigger person
Mike is 6-foot-7, so it’s not easy to be the bigger person when he’s involved (yes, we made a joke), but Natalie decides to bite the bullet and apologize just to make peace. That can work every now and then, but over time, it can turn into a miserable habit.
They need to iron out Thanksgiving plans
Mike calls up his mom, using an adorable nickname for her.
He admits that Natalie is nervous about Thanksgiving
His mom, Trish, isn’t looking for a fight, and has explained that she doesn’t hate Natalie — despite having asked Tamara to stand up at the wedding and object to it, sabotaging it (yes, that can literally stop the wedding from happening). Instead, she says that she simply doesn’t know Natalie well enough to hate her.
Natalie doesn’t eat “meat”
Natalie doesn’t eat poultry, anyway. (For some reason, she treats fish and other seafood as non-meats even though she has said that her objection to meat-eating is moral, leaving fans with a lot of questions). Trish jokes that they can go down to the river near the house if Natalie doesn’t eat turkey and fish some water moccasins for her. Now, we saw someone respond to this on social media saying that they were suggesting catching fish for Natalie to eat, which is not the case. Water moccasins are a venomous snake. Oof.
Tiffany Franco and Ronald Smith
In her new apartment, Tiffany assembles her bedframe with the help of her son, fan-favorite Daniel.
Daniel wishes his dad were there
Referring to Ronald, he notes how he feels like Tiffany would be so much happier if Ronald were there — he could help with Carley and would also be better at assembling furniture. (Daniel even made a self-deprecating joke about his scrawny arms — he’s so good)
Ronald video chats in
He is so good with Daniel and Carley, which has been the real selling point on this relationship.
But when it’s just him and Tiffany …
… Ronald is resentful that she canceled the tickets while she is resentful that she is having to pay for everything herself. And this apartment is supposed to be for Ronald to live in, too, once his marital visa is approved.
Ronald can’t let that go
He has gotten a new temporary job repairing motorcycles, which he doesn’t enjoy but hey, it is work. But he’s still giving her grief about canceling the tickets, because he wants to see Tiffany and the kids sooner rather than later and doesn’t recognize the furniture and apartment as an investment in his future, too.
It’s a hard conversation
Tiffany has been working since she was 15, so she’s having a hard time being impressed with Ronald’s new gig beyond the fact that it’s a job (South Africa’s economy is rough but you still don’t get a parade thrown in your honor when you get a job, you know?). To his credit, Ronald does apologize after Tiffany cries, but it’s just not a good vibe. Notably, they were both sure to have this conversation out of earshot of Daniel and Carley (Daniel was watching Carley). A dysfunctional marriage doesn’t have to mean being bad parents.
Next time
Natalie and Mike show up, and things with Trish are awkward at best.
Kalani talks divorce
Her father, though good in many ways, sees divorce as a failure rather than a difficult but beneficial choice.
Ronald is anxious
Even Daniel has to remind him that, if his visa isn’t approved, the family isn’t moving to South Africa for several reasons. Ronald vows to the camera that he can’t do a long-distance relationship long-term, which would break his heart. But Tiffany has to do what’s best for her kids, and that means putting down roots where she is now and bringing Ronald to live there — if that’s possible.
Jovi breaks some news
He has bad news related to work (likely another lengthy absence, since his work trips got longer with COVID-19), and it’s a lot for Yara to process.
Angela recovers
But they continue to build up “hype” (for lack of a better word) that she could die during surgery, even though we all know that she lived.
Julia loses her whole mind
Julia resents Melanie and storms away from the table when Brandon is chatting with friends of his.
Andrei preps for an important interview
There is at least hypothetically a risk that Andrei could be deported if he is dishonest in his upcoming interview.