90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? Season 6, Episode 4 had a lot of tears.
Kalani cried, speaking to her sister about her situation with Asuelu.
When she spoke to Asuelu later, things were so much worse.
Angela had her surgery ... but not before lying to her surgeons about following the non-smoking guidelines.
Julia meets up with a wedding planner, eager to launch her new career and move away from the farm.
But a conversation with Brandon takes a toxic turn as her weird jealousy issues make her lash out.
Andrei has his first day of work for Chuck, but he is already clashing with basically everyone.
Yara and Jovi are still getting accustomed to being new parents, but Jovi knows that their lives will soon change (again).
Natalie drives home for an awkward reunion with Mike after their fight at Mike's birthday dinner.
And Tiffany and Ronald have a painful conversation, while Daniel just wishes that Ronald were there with them already.
Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa
Kalani cites the realities of being a mother of two and how furniture shopping is what excites her at this stage in her life. She also shares that this isn't really Asuelu's forte, so she's taking Kolini with her. Whether this is real or just a gimmick to give them a different setting to film ... it doesn't matter. Everybody loves Kolini, and furniture stores are as good a place as any for a conversation.
Kalani has some opinions
Before they settle in for a difficult, painful conversation, Kalani shares some amusing observations about sanitation for padded headboards, and also accidentally collapses a bench. Whoops!
Kalani gets serious
She feels like there are lots of fights but no real passion anymore. Kalani doesn't feel affection from Asuelu. She also notes that "to control the mess," Asuelu has his own bedroom where he plays games and where he sleeps most of the time.
You know how sometimes, things seem normal to you until you say them out loud to another person who is like "NO, that's not okay!!" Well, that's what happened here.
Kalani feels like "roommates with benefits"
Apparently, Asuelu only comes to her room for occasional sex, but that's it. (Note: obviously, plenty of marriages work just fine or even better than before with multiple bedrooms! Snoring, temperature preferences, different schedules ... there are tons of good reasons for that. But Asuelu and Kalani have other problems, and this is making it worse)
It's so hard
Kalani feels miserable. On the one hand, she knows that Asuelu wasn't raised to understand about the need for affection and love and mutual respect, so she wants to nurture him. On the other hand, she already has two children to nurture and this is making her miserable. Is Asuelu really willing to change? Right now, he assumes that divorce isn't a real thing, because he was raised like Kalani's dad was raised to think that marriage is for life.
Kalani has to say something
While Asuelu folds his (excellent!) shirt collection, Kalani brings up the courage to talk to her husband about her feelings, knowing that the littlest thing can sometimes set him off. Note: if this is how you feel, you can skip this step and just file for divorce.
At first, she just talks about spicing up their sex life
Right now, they only sleep together every now and then, and this seems like an easy way to start the conversation. Kalani suggests roleplay, which she has to explain to Asuelu. (Okay, has Asuelu not seen porn? That feels like the easier way to explain it)
Asuelu immediately has ideas
He asks if Kalani means, like, if she dressed as Wonder Woman and he were The Incredible Hulk. (You know I wrote out a nerdy response weighing this as a roleplay option but you know what? I have just enough self-control to not make you wade through it. Anyway, Asuelu would make a great Hulk)
But as Kalani keeps talking about their relationship
She brings up how she'd like more affection from him, he mentions that he brings her food, Kalani notes that it's sweet of him but notes that her brother also brings her food, and Asuelu is -- as she had feared -- instantly angry.
To Asuelu, what he's doing is enough
Hey, bringing someone food is a sweet way of showing that you love them. BUT that in and of itself is not enough for a spouse to display affection to another spouse. Asuelu does not like hearing this.
This is so hard for Kalani
She silently cries as yet another attempt to speak to her husband blows up in her face.
That makes Asuelu mad, too
He thinks that it's "annoying" when she cries because he doesn't think that his rudeness and hostility is enough for someone to cry.
Kalani is stewing in misery and there's no sign that anything is going to change for the better any time soon.
Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi
It's time for her major surgery! She's getting a breast reduction, a gastric band, some liposuction ... but she didn't quite follow all of the rules before her surgery.
Her surgeons come in
Angela is nervous, as she accepts the reality of all that could go wrong as she spends several hours unconscious for major surgery.
She also just ... lies
Angela lies to her surgeons about having smoked that morning, because she was not supposed to. She smoked on camera, knowing that the cigarette could slow healing or make infections easier to get. It was very foolish.
Angela's handsome doctor speaks
He notes that Angela has been trying to make her husband accept this, and he wants to reassure Michael, too.
He is happy to answer Michael's questions
Honestly? Framing all of this in a way that will reassure Michael is doing a favor for Angela, too.
"The breasts, the breasts"
Michael is asked what his favorite part of Angela's body is, and is assured that Angela's breasts will still be intense after her surgery -- just less of a physical, painful burden.
Angela gets marked up for surgery
She speaks about wanting to preserve some tattoos on her body if possible. That's a fair concern for anyone going under the knife, especially for non-emergency surgeries.
On the operating table, Angela is ... Angela
People don't magically change when they're going under or when they're drunk, but they do become more of themselves without a filter. Angela didn't have much of a filter to begin with, so she is complaining ... a lot.
She doesn't like the mask
This isn't unheard of for patients undergoing surgery, and most medical professionals don't take it personally, but it's a pain when someone struggles against medical equipment like a baby, you know?
The cameras were actually allowed inside the operating theater, though presumably just one camera person and not the entire production team.
Jojo keeps Michael updated
Michael really appreciates it, since he cannot be there in person to wait on his wife's procedure.
Angela will now have, roughly, DD breasts
The surgeon takes out about one pound of tissue from each breast in order to reduce the size, but they will still be more than ample. However, post-op, Angela seems reluctant to open her eyes on command. (Folks, she's fine, this happened months ago and she's done a series of interviews since then)
Brandon Gibbs and Julia Trubkina
Still living on the farm, Julia gets her marching orders from Betty. It sucks.
Nothing has really changed since the wedding
Yes, Julia revealed at the Tell All that she didn't have to feed the animals -- but explained that if she didn't, Brandon had to, in addition to his full-time job, so it was the only way for them to have time together. That's still a miserable scenario.
Julia didn't sign up for 90 Day Farmhand
She came here to be Brandon's wife. She wants to work, but this isn't a job -- it's a list of chores for someone else's life.
But there's good news
Julia is serious about her desire to be a wedding planner, despite Brandon's discouragement, and a planner named Christine has agreed to speak with her. (This must be extra tricky -- because she had to find a wedding planner willing to meet with her AND willing to go on camera for it, which is going to skew her results)
She tells Julia that she can do this, but she has a long road ahead. (Yes, there were some awkward moments in this chat) She also tells Julia that a huge part of her job involves networking, because she knows the Richmond area and has a relationship with many businesses relevant to weddings.
Back home, things take a turn
Julia talks to Brandon ... expressing her unhappiness but for some reason noting that he's playing an unseen video game. Weird thing to complain about. Like, he finished work, of course he's consuming a piece of media.
Julia lists the many animal duties she had that day
It sounds exhausting and miserable but Brandon is so numb to it because his parents are the way that they are. One day, when Brandon and Julia have their own place, Brandon will probably go "oh, so THIS is what happiness feels like!" but it will take years of therapy to undo the damage that his parents' attitudes have inflicted.
Brandon erroneously compares Julia's chores to his job
No, Brandon. Brandon has a specific job (pest control technician) and is paid for it. Julia does farm labor, unpaid, at the direction of her mother-in-law.
They need to move out sooner rather than later
Now, it's not just about Julia's farmwork nightmare -- it's about putting down roots and making social connections in and around Richmond so that she can get into wedding planning.
Does Brandon really understand?
He suggests that if she wants to "meet people" for "networking," he could start by hanging out with his friends, and suggests that they go hang out with Melanie.