Imagining having 101 children to keep up with pretty much gives us hives. This wouldn't have happened if people listened to Bob Barker.
This is totally how all the guys are supposed to get the girl, right? (See also: RIP Robin Williams.)
What is it with Disney making all their main characters orphans?! Why so many dead parents, Disney!?!?
Beauty and the Beast
So many things that just do not make sense about Beauty and the Beast, you guys. So many things.
THAT'S RIGHT no prince required! Girl power!
See Extreme Makeover for proof that this is real life.
Alice in Wonderland
To be fair, the author was probably on drugs, too. And he was a pedophile.
Okay, so, I mean, what else can we name this movie? Yeah, Cars pretty much sums it up.
The Little Mermaid
Alternate alternate title: Why educating our daughters is important. Because then she could've just written Eric a note.
Let's also not forget "Don't take food from strangers." Snow White is really the reason your parents checked your Halloween candy, you know.
Being high is probably the only way to make it through this movie.
Aladdin (Take Two)
Disney's various forays into showing other cultures almost always ends poorly. For example...
The Princess and the Frog
Tiana was Disney's first African-American princess. Cool, right? Every character in the movie is a stereotype. #Fail
We thought these were kids movies!!
Hunchback of Notre Dame
Maybe Aladdin should take some notes from Quasimodo about that whole lying and stealing thing.
Personally we'd name this "everything wrong with teaching your kids about history via cartoon" since Disney got everything, well, wrong.
Sleeping Beauty's kind of a horror story if you're on the brink of your 16th birthday.
The Sword in the Stone
This probably isn't the kind of tale King Arthur's going to swap while they're all sitting at the Round Table, you know?
The Lion King
Ahhh, Hamlet. Where the evil uncle usurps the throne by killing people only to end up dead himself. At least Simba survived in this one.