The 45 Most Ridiculous Celebrity Baby Names of All Time

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From Apple to North to Spurgeon and many, many others compiled here, celebrities sure pick out some hilarious names for their kids.

Not all of them, obvi. Some go the conventional route.

But this is Hollywood, and well, we have no shortage of options while putting together a gallery of unintentional hilariousness like this.

Let's just say that.

There sure as heck are a disproportionate percentage of little kid names that are straight up ridic, head-scratching, LOL-worthy selections.

Check out the 45 most absurd ones given by the most absurd people now and be glad they make enough money to afford good therapists:

1. North West

North West
North West. The spawn of Kimye being named after a direction may be the dumbest thing in human history. At the same time, if she doesn't grow up to have a signature fragrance called North by North West, this is not a planet we wanna be living on.

2. Kyd

Kyd
Yes, Kyd. David Duchovny mailed that one in worse than his alleged acting on Californication.

3. Kal-El Cage

Kal-El Cage
Nicolas Cage named one of his kids Kal-El, a fact not related to him being wasted out of his mind in this mug shot ... although that could explain a lot of things.

4. Spurgeon

Spurgeon
Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald's baby son Spurgeon is named after Charles Spurgeon, an influential Baptist preacher from the 19th Century. It also is the subject of an awesome page on Urban Dictionary, and will probably make lil' Spurge glad he's home schooled later in life.

5. Rocket Zot (or Ayer)

Rocket Zot (or Ayer)
Avatar star Sam Worthington's baby name choice for his first child with wife Lara Bingle Worthington - Rocket Zot - was chosen because they liked the way it sounded. That makes two of them ... and probably not a whole lot more. Honorable mention to Pharrell Williams' son Rocket Ayer.

6. Reign Aston Disick

Reign Aston Disick
Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick went relatively conventional with their first two children Mason and Penelope. For the third, however, they opted for a name fit for a Lord: REIGN Aston Disick. If only his dad weren't the deadbeat Lord of six different rehab centers.

7. Royalty

Royalty
Also going the regal route (and the unmarried one): Chris Brown had a baby with a model named Nia Amey. Her name is Royalty. Yes, #ROYALTY.

8. Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart

Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart
Rapper Chief Keef, who also goes by Keith Cozart, named his newborn son this mouthful - yes, Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart is correct - to promote his album release last year. NOTE: The album did not crack the top 100 on the Billboard charts. We're guessing the baby name won't break into the top 1,000,000.

9. Apple Martin

Apple Martin
Ironically, Apple is both the name of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's daughter and likely the name of a food item forbidden in some rich crazy-person diet she probably follows.

10. Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale

Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
We got nothing.

11. Bear (Kate Winslet, Alicia Silverstone and Liam Payne & Cheryl Cole)

Bear (Kate Winslet, Alicia Silverstone and Liam Payne & Cheryl Cole)
Not only did she torture us with The Reader, Kate Winslet did her own son dirty by naming him Bear. Alicia Silverstone chose this name too. And she used to chew up her Bear's food for him, which is also interesting albeit unrelated to this. And then in 2017, Liam Payne and Cheryl Cole got in on the ursine action.

12. Royal Reign

Royal Reign
Move over Kourtney and Chris. Lil Kim also got in on the regal action ... twice over! She named her daughter Royal Reign!

13. Blanket Jackson

Blanket Jackson
Blanket Jackson is not actually the name of the youngest child of Michael Jackson. It's Prince Michael Jackson II ... not to be confused with Prince Michael Jackson I (also pictured). As for his nickname, he was wearing a Blanket while MJ dangled him over a balcony. Good times.

14. Jermajesty Jackson

Jermajesty Jackson
Jermajesty. Michael's brother Jermaine outdid him with that one.

15. Suri Cruise

Suri Cruise
Suri Cruise, the child of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, is a bona fide cutie. Who will have to spell and explain her name approximately 10 times per day as an adult.

16. Moxie Crimefighter

Moxie Crimefighter
Moxie Crimefighter is the daughter of Penn Jillette. She is destined for a career as a determined, clever, unflappable law enforcement official. Or just a lot of ridicule.

17. Tu Morrow

Tu Morrow
Actor Rob Morrow named his daughter Tu. GET IT? That's either a great play on words or the dumbest thing ever. Maybe a little of both.

18. Ode Mountain DeLorenzo Malone

Ode Mountain DeLorenzo Malone
Hunger Games star Jena Malone welcomed a son with her boyfriend, photographer Ethan DeLorenzo, in 2016 and named the little guy Ode Mountain DeLorenzo Malone. An ode to a new mountainous level of parenting?

19. Pilot Inspektor

Pilot Inspektor
Pilot Inspektor is the son of Jason Lee. That spelling you are reading here is accurate.

20. Princess Tiaamii

Princess Tiaamii
Princess Tiaamii is the daughter of busty British babe and reality star Katie Price. We feel bad.

21. Denim

Denim
Toni Braxton named her kid Denim. Apparently "Polyester," "Suede," and "Cotton" were taken.

22. Diezel

Diezel
Toni Braxton makes our list not once but twice after she named another son Diezel. Either she botched the spelling of Denzel or she's a really big fan of efficient but dirty fossil fuels.

23. Bronx Mowgli

Bronx Mowgli
Bronx Mowgli, the son of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, is named after a borough of New York City AND a Jungle Book protagonist.

24. Broncs Weston

Broncs Weston
Teen Mom 3 star Mackenzie McKee named her third child Broncs Weston. The dad is a rodeo rider, so ... we guess that kind of explains things.

25. Maxwell Drew Johnson

Maxwell Drew Johnson
Jessica Simpson named her little daughter Maxwell. Perhaps she is trying to overcompensate for giving her an old man's name by putting her in this bikini.

26. Destry

Destry
It's unclear if Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw's daughter Destry was supposed to be called Destroy (or perhaps Destiny) in honor of some of the film legend's greatest sci-fi works, only to suffer a birth certificate snafu for the ages. But we like that theory.

27. Banjo

Banjo
Banjo, the son of Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor, is not only named after a musical instrument, but probably the most absurd one to name a kid after you could think of. With the possible exception of oboe.

28. Destiny "Miley" Cyrus

Destiny "Miley" Cyrus
Yes, Miley's real name is Destiny ... which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but Billy Ray and Tish probably guaranteed she'd become a stripper someday with that moniker. Of course, perhaps no name could've prevented the train wreck that has become her life.

29. Saint West

Saint West
Yes, Saint West. You would have to be on crack to name your kid that if you were a normal person, but for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, mere royalty will not do. What's even grander and more iconic than a king? A F--KING SAINT.

30. Dream Kardashian

Dream Kardashian
Rob named his first-ever child DREAM Renee Kardashian. Yes, Dream. More like a nightmare ... and probably an even bigger one than his relationship with Blac Chyna was.

31. Rumi and Sir Carter

Rumi and Sir Carter
These were the names given to Beyonce and Jay's twins. We would make fun of them more aggressively if the Beygency weren't reading this right now. And besides, Sir Carter will be dropping lyrical bombs on all of us in about 15 years, so we might as well bow down now.

32. Lux Russell

Lux Russell
Kailyn Lowry spent seven weeks of her third son's life (and many months before that) struggling to come up with a name for "Baby Lo." Then she settled on Lux Russell, which is almost as puzzling as the fact that she simply went ahead and announced it on Instagram out of nowhere instead of cashing in with a six-figure photo deal after all that hype. #SMH

33. Ember Jean

Ember Jean
Look, we love Jeremy and Audrey Roloff so much, and their precious baby girl is lucky to have them as parents, but we had to check and see if they misspelled Amber at first. #justsayin

34. Chicago West

Chicago West
Kim and Kanye named their third child something even more ridiculous than Saint and North. Yup, she's Chicago!

35. Psalm West

Psalm West
After North, Saint, and Chicago, Kim and Kanye completed their family with a son they named Psalm. Because of course they did.

36. True Thompson

True Thompson
Tristan Thompson was anything but true to Khloe Kardashian, but this didn't stop the reality star from naming her daughter True.

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